Page 93 of Arousing Family

I felt lucky that I was living apart from Kevin and that Sara was at her grandparents for the weekend; I could not have looked them in the eyes. I spent a morose weekend holed up in the big, soulless house in Chigwell. I had lots of work to do for I was helping an agency put a presentation together for the Lejaby lingerie account. But my planning and thinking were continually interrupted by thoughts of that scene in the clubhouse. I could hardly believe it. I kept saying in my mind 'I was fucked by a twenty year old in the tennis clubhouse.' How fucking sordid, risky and ridiculous was that? I had decided never to go back to the club. That way I need never see Craig again. How ironic that thought later became.

Craig had called me on my mobile. We'd chatted. He

had asked about the next match and I had told him I wouldn't be playing.

"Why not?"

"I can't"

"You mean you won't?"

"Yes, but won't can't what's the difference?"

"Nothing they both add up to the fact that you don't want to see me?"

"Not don't want, but know I shouldn't. I can't."

"But you would like to?"

" That's irrelevant, I shouldn't have let happen what happened."

"Why not?"

" It's wrong, I'm married with children and old enough to be your mother." I said very primly.

"You're separated, not married."

"I'm still married, just separated.

"Did you enjoy it?"

I didn't reply, I couldn't"

"Well did you?"

"That has nothing to do with it."

"It has everything to do with it Amanda."

"No it doesn't."

"It does, because I think you enjoyed it, I know you did."

I didn't reply.

"Amanda?"

"Yes."

"Well did you?"

"What?"

"Enjoy it?"

"That's not fair."

"Well did you?"

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