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She started in surprise. They were his friends. “Not go?”
“My presence would only distract you from your opportunities as we are not relations and obviously close.” His voice was quiet but there was a strain within it that said he struggled with the words.
“I don’t have to go. It’s of little consequence to—”
“You should go,” he interrupted her, leaning forward. “You deserve the best this life has to offer, Ella. Tricia is right. You should consider marrying.”
She grimaced at him. “But I don’t want to marry a man I feel no affection for. How would that be fair to either of us?”
It was as though she’d peeked inside his mind and read his thoughts. How could she know that was his fear, a woman who held no affection for him? Who only wanted him for the title and connections he provided? “Well, it would likely be fair to you both. You would gain security and family. Children of your own. And he would gain a beautiful and loyal wife making his life far more pleasant.”
“Oh.” She sat back in her chair. “I hadn’t thought of it that way, I suppose.” Her eyes grew distant as she looked off, slowly eating her food. “Is that a conversation you can sincerely have? I don’t hold affection for you, per say, but I think we could be a good match nonetheless?”
He winced. “I don’t know. I didn’t take too kindly to it.” He only realized he’d said the words out loud after they had left his lips.
He heard her small gasp. “Was that the woman that Tricia was talking about?”
So Tricia knew? He should have known she would. He’d confessed his hurt to Luke and Ryker after several whiskies one evening at their club. “Likely, yes. What did she say?”
“Just that you’d been hurt by a woman, Sarah Wentworth.”
He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “She told you about that, did she?”
“Honestly, she said it was your sto
ry to tell, she just wanted me to understand…” her voice trailed off.
“Understand what?”
She set down her fork, a blush giving her cheeks a pink glow. “Why we might never be more than friends.”
He could have smacked his own forehead with his palm. Suddenly, he understood her talk of friendship. Did Ella want more and Tricia had attempted to set her straight? He gave himself a shake. It didn’t matter. Tricia was right. Sarah had ruined any trust he might have had for a woman in Ella’s position. “I thought Sarah was as in love with me as I was with her. After fighting with my father about our match, I asked her to wait for me. Told her I’d give up my inheritance for her but I’d need time to build a business to support her.”
Ella winced then, her eyes fluttering to her lap. “You must have really loved her.”
“I fell in love with a lie. She rejected me. She didn’t want me without the privileges my inheritance entailed.”
She darted her gaze back to him as she sucked in her breath. “She didn’t actually say that did she?”
“She did.” He gripped his fork and had to force his fingers to relax. “What you see around you is the product of my father’s money so part of me understands why she didn’t want to give that up.”
Ella shook her head. “She was a fool. You’re man of honor and grace. I am certain you would have given her all that is important in this world.”
Her conviction made his chest ache, the support unwavering. “You give me too much credit.”
“I don’t.” She straightened her back. “Sarah didn’t deserve you and I hope she doesn’t ruin your future the way she did your past.”
His jaw dropped as he stared at the stunning woman across from him. Was he allowing Sarah to ruin his future as Luke had warned? He wasn’t sure but he did know everyone he had ever been close to had left him or never loved him at all. Even his sister had gone in the end. “Thank you for your kind words.”
She nodded and picked up her fork to return to her meal. Part of him wished to ask her several more questions. If he allowed her into his heart would she eventually break it too? But he couldn’t ask.
Rather than continue to poke this particular wound, he changed the subject. “A former sailor from the Saint Madeleine has been spotted in The Kicking Horse. I thought we might travel there tonight to try and speak with him.”
Ella’s eye grew round. “To The Kicking Horse?” she asked, her voice shaky but then she straightened her shoulders. Of course. Nothing would bring me more pleasure than to fulfill my end of our bargain.”
“Excellent. We shall leave after we’ve dined.” He made to take another bite but noticed that she carefully set her fork to the side.
“What if someone recognizes me?” She nibbled on her lip in a way that made him ache to do the same.
