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That made her smile, just a bit. “And I’ve been an angel since the loss of my parents.”
His eyes twinkled a bit as he stared at her. “Well, until me, you were doing all right. But I did note, you try to fill the void in your heart with parties and suitors and adventure.” He squeezed her tighter.
“Yes,” she answered a tear coming to her eye. “But the thing I am beginning to understand is that all of those are temporary. They come and they go and then I am left aching again.”
He leaned back then, looking down into her face. “And what would be more permanent?”
She swallowed a lump. “I think that you could.”
He cupped her face in his hand, giving her the smallest kiss. “Sweet Charlie, I tried to warn you. I am not permanent. You can’t think of me like that.”
His words cut through her as she slowly loosened her arms and eased back onto the bed.
He wanted to be a different man. Raithe scrubbed his cheek as he looked down at Charlie, hurt pulling at the corners of her mouth and eyes. “When she died, Charlie, I promised myself that I’d never marry again. That I wouldn’t tarnish her memory by going on and having the family she never would.”
Charlie shook her head. Her fingers, trembling, reached out to his. “The more I allow myself to think about my parents, the more I wonder if the best thing I could to honor them is to find a wonderful man who makes me happy and marry him. Start a family.” She raised up again, stepping off the bed. “Has it occurred to you that you might honor her with your future?”
His chest ached as his fists clenched. “I wouldn’t honor her by being happy with another woman.”
“I think you would. Far more than being a rake. She would be unhappy, I’d bet, to know that you didn’t cherish a woman but used lots of them.”
Those words hit him like a fist in the chest. Worse than any blow Craven had dealt during their sparring session. They rang with a truth that was difficult to deny. Jenni was a good woman, and she’d want him to lead a good life. Hell, she’d wanted him to be a father. Did he honor her by not having children?
He looked down at Charlie. She wanted to be cherished, did she? Somehow, he wanted that too, to hold Charlie close to his body and rock her as she broke apart in his arms.
Raithe knew that wasn’t what she’d meant. But thinking about her words caused that ache to pulse deep in his chest and he felt this driving need to be close to Charlie, as though her body would provide the balm for the aches deep in his soul. “Sit back on the bed.”
Her brows drew together but, as she assessed him, her gaze slid down his body and her eyes widened again. Belatedly he realized even thinking about her finish had caused his cock to stand at attention once again.
“Raithe?”
“This was not part of the agreement, sharing our pasts, our feelings.”
She took a step back raising her hands. “Technically, your demonstrations weren’t part of the bargain either.”
He captured her hand and pulled Charlie toward him. “You sealed a bargain with a known debaucher with a kiss, Lady Charlotte. This was always going to happen. Why don’t you lie back and enjoy it?”
She swallowed. “I know that I let you lift my skirts but…”
“Charlie.” He grazed a kiss down her temple. “You let me look at your whole beautiful world and I want more.”
“Yes but…” She touched his chest, her hand shaking. “I have to be able to marry, Raithe. I’ve only just realized that was the answer and I can’t ruin my chances now.”
“Do you want to marry me?” The question was out before he’d thought it through. He lifted her, then lay her on the bed, drawing up her skirts once again. He’d seen and now he wanted to taste.
“Yes,” she said the single word falling between them. “I do.”
He leaned down, placing a kiss on the inside of her knee. He wanted to marry her too. Keep her all for himself. “Charlie,” he groaned, sliding his hands up her thighs, her skin silky against his much rougher hands.
“Do you want to marry me?” she whispered even as he kissed her thigh.
Everything in him tightened in longing. Yes. He wanted to marry her. He knew that, now. But he wasn’t sure it changed anything. Instead of answering, he placed a soft kiss on her mound, light and so tender. She bucked against him, gasping for breath.
He kissed her again and then reached his tongue to flick her soft folds, parting them just a bit.
She moaned as her hips arched up. His own body was so tight with wanting that he moaned with her. Did he want to marry her? He was beginning to believe she was like air. He needed her to breathe.
Her words replayed in his head even as her scent surrounded him, pulling him deeper into his adoration. Could he still honor Jenni and marry Charlie?
