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“But I like what I do. I don’t want to change.”
“The only thing constant about life is change,” Aunt Kaimana said, taking another sip.
Kai sighed. “I’m not ready to change yet,” he said, holding out the rumpled contract Jun had left in his place, the one asking him to forgo sex. “Not this kind anyway.”
Aunt Kaimana picked up the crumpled paper and read it with interest.
“Sometimes change comes whether you’re ready or not,” she said, finishing off his beer. “Like, first your bottle is full, and now it’s empty.”
* * *
THAT EVENING, JUN lay in bed trying to sleep, still rattled by her day with Kai. She’d signed his contract, but he refused to sign hers. He’d fired her after she’d worked barely an hour, and according to the contract, he owed her six months’ pay. Not that she’d take it. She’d thought she could take the money, but now she realized she couldn’t accept money for a job she hadn’t done. It was a matter of pride. Besides, she already owed him enough. Even Kai’s being pigheaded, shallow and wrong wasn’t going to change the fact he’d saved Po, and she still owed him a debt she probably could never repay. Still, she wanted to shake some sense into his sex-obsessed brain. How could he possibly think that sleeping around could help his surfing career? Men were all the same, she thought. They always believed they could compartmentalize everything so nicely, yet the fact was, no one could really live a life divided. If there was one thing alternative medicine had taught her, it was that a person’s mind, body and spirit were all connected in often surprising ways.
Right now her mind and body were at odds: her body wanted to sleep, but her mind was having no part of it. She flopped over in her bed and glanced at her phone. Two in the morning. Po would be up by six thirty. She’d be lucky to get four hours of sleep, and tomorrow would be another busy day: she’d need to call Tim, a task she dreaded. Being free of his unwanted advances had been a relief.
Then there’d be a new round of calling day cares. She’d yet to find one without a waiting list, and she’d tried every single one within a thirty-minute drive. She’d have to increase her range, but that would mean an hour or more commuting back and forth from work to day care each day. Jun’s sister had been nice enough to watch Po on her days off, but she’d be back to work tomorrow, and there’d be no way Jun could ask her to take a sick day to watch her nephew, especially since she lived an hour away.
Why does every day feel like I’m climbing Mount Everest? Why does it all have to be so hard? Just as Jun began to indulge in a rare moment of self-pity, she heard a strangled cry come from Po’s room.
Instantly, she was on her feet, headed down the narrow hallway in their small two-bedroom condo. Was he having another nightmare? That would be the third night this week. Neither one of them had been sleeping well and now it seemed the nightmares were becoming more frequent. Just when I think we’ve put the tsunami behind us, here it comes again. Jun heard a sudden crash from Po’s room, followed by a scream, and she sprinted the rest of the way to his door, her heart in her throat as she worried he’d fallen out of bed—or worse.
She saw Po, eyes wide and scared, tears streaming down his face. He was standing in the middle of his room, the covers of his bed and his pillow tossed on the floor. He’d knocked over the small wooden step stool near his bed, along with a stack of picture books and a crate of oversize blocks.
“Po, honey? Are you okay?” She went to him and tried to put her arms around him, but he screamed in fear.
“Po! Po, honey!” Jun’s blood ran cold as her little boy fought her and screamed and cried. It was as if he didn’t even recognize her, as if she weren’t there. He slipped from her grip and managed to wander over to the other side of his room in a kind of daze. Jun let him go and tried to calm her voice. He was clearly terrified, yet he didn’t want her to comfort him. He bumped into things in his room as if he wasn’t even seeing them. As if he was asleep with his eyes wide-open.
“What’s wrong, Po? What’s...?” She ran after him, trying to hug him, but he shrieked again, kicking and hitting. She tried to hold him, but the tighter her grip, the more he fought her. Her heart pounded. What was wrong with her boy? She felt helpless and scared as she let him go again and backed away.
