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“Kai, wait!” Jun pulled two boards behind her as she followed the tense slope of his shoulders. She knew he was embarrassed and she knew why: his knee. It was the only explanation for what had happened out there. She’d seen it give way in the gym, and now she’d seen it give way in the surf. Coincidence? She was beginning to think not.
After the boards were safely on shore, she dropped the security lines and jogged after Kai. Thankfully, the beach was mostly deserted, although a few tourists had set up blankets and umbrellas.
“Wait!” she called, running after him.
When she’d gotten close enough, he whirled. “You wanted to see me surf—are you happy now?” She hadn’t expected the sudden red burst of rage.
“Kai, it’s okay. Let’s calm down—”
“It’s not okay! Did you see that out there? Did you?” Pent-up frustration boiled over in his eyes. He ran a hand through his wet hair.
“One misstep.”
“Hardly. It’s not one—it’s every time.”
This stopped Jun cold in her tracks. This happened every time he went surfing? Now she realized how far he was from truly recovered. Now she understood what was really at stake: he might not be able to surf. The realization hit her harder than she’d anticipated. She’d had doubts about his knee, but even she hadn’t thought it was this bad. For once, she was out of options. If he couldn’t stay on the board...how could she help him?
“We’ll figure this out,” she said. “We can do more strength exercises. We can find a way...”
“There is no way!” Kai stepped right up to her then, glaring at her as they stood nose to nose. “I’m handicapped, okay? Probably forever! Because...”
Because of Po. He didn’t have to say it, because she filled in the blanks for him. All at once, she felt the hopelessness of the debt she owed him. Her son’s life might have cost him his surfing career. Could she live with that? She knew she could, because she’d give anything to have Po live, but this thing wasn’t hers to offer.
“I’m sorry, Kai.” It wouldn’t make things right, but it was the only thing she could think of to say.
“Why are you sorry?”
“Because...it’s...my fault. Po’s. Ours. It’s...”
“No, it’s not. Don’t ever say that.” Anger still simmered in his voice.
Suddenly, Kai’s mouth was on hers. He wrapped her up in his arms and pressed her into his body, his mouth ravishing hers as his tongue whipped mercilessly into her mouth. She was so taken aback she didn’t fight him. She opened her mouth to receive him and felt the rage and the passion simultaneously in his lips. He tasted like the ocean, salty and wild, and his strong hands cupped her behind, lifting her up, and her legs wrapped around his waist as he held her. She was kissing him back, powerless to do anything more, cowed by guilt and shame and regret, knowing that if it was her body that he needed, she’d have to give it to him. She couldn’t imagine saying no, not now, when she grasped all he’d sacrificed for Po.
Not that it was even in her head to say no at all. Not when her body responded to his every touch.
He laid her roughly on the wet sand, his body heavy on top of hers, his hands roaming the length of her, nothing but thin swimsuit fabric between them, and he tugged on the strap of her suit as if on a mission, his hands furious. She thought in that moment, he wasn’t Kai at all. She wondered if this was what he was like with all his other women. If all he wanted to do was release that anger and frustration, if it was just about losing himself for those blissful few minutes. She wondered if that was all he saw in her: another distraction. And then she could see that was exactly how he used sex: as a way to avoid his problems.
He dropped rough kisses down her neck and her body responded and she arched into him. What was she doing? He was using her...and yet she didn’t care. It had been so long that she’d forgotten the sweet feel of a man’s weight on her, the strength of his hands stroking her body.
Her belly came alive even as the warning bells sounded in her head: Was she going to let him take her, right here? On a public beach in broad daylight, just steps from the house where Po played? But the rational thought was pounded out of her head by the feel of Kai’s hungry mouth on hers as his tongue laid claim to her.
