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During a commercial break, Emma shifted a bit against him, and Xavier stretched, too.
“Nature’s calling,” he said, hating to break their warm embrace. “I’ll be right back.”
* * *
Emma watched Xavier dip into the adjacent bathroom and sighed. She could get used to that amazing hunk of man walking around her apartment. She hadn’t realized how small it was before she saw his broad shoulders in it, seemingly taking up all the available space. She didn’t mind, though. He was tall and imposing, and, oh, so strong. She thought back to how he’d picked her up the night before and carted her off to the bedroom, and she could feel the tingle of the memory in her toes. She still wasn’t sure how she felt about his relationship anxiety, the way he seemed so skittish about commitment. She told herself she wasn’t exactly looking for a ring on her finger either at the moment, but since she’d never had a casual one-night stand, she didn’t know exactly how to do casual. All she knew at that moment was that Xavier made her knees weak, and she wanted more of him. Much more.
She knew how he took his coffee, and that he liked watching news shows, just like she did. They had so much in common, and yet there was so much she still didn’t know about him.
Emma snuggled up on the couch with the blanket just as his phone sitting on the coffee table dinged. She recognized the sound: it was an incoming message from Nost. Emma glanced up at the closed bathroom door. Should she snoop? No. She knew she shouldn’t. That was wrong. And yet... She couldn’t fight the thirst for curiosity about this man. She wanted to know everything about him. Curiosity overcame her at that very moment. She pushed down the blanket and glanced at the phone, which was still lit with the new message.
Hey sexy. Let’s get naked tonight.
The message sent a chill through her. A pit formed in her stomach. Now, unable to contain herself, she grabbed the phone and touched the message and his Nost app came up. The message was from a gorgeous brunette who wasn’t afraid to use a string bikini shot as her profile picture. She was all cleavage and amazingly flat stomach, a little hoop through her belly button. She was blowing a kiss to the camera. Emma couldn’t help herself then. She swiped through other messages. Xavier had dozens, and that was just in the last twenty-four hours. He’d also reached out to a few on his own just last night. Last night. Right before he texted her, he’d texted three other girls. With the clear intent to meet them. Emma bit her lip.
The betrayal hit her hard. Had he only reached out to her because the others hadn’t responded quickly enough?
She felt the pit in her stomach grow bigger. Jealousy flared in her, taut and ugly, and yet she knew logically she had no reason to be jealous. He’d been up front with her, hadn’t he? He’d told her he had no intention of being monogamous. He was the founder of Nost. Why wouldn’t he still be using the app? Yet, all the gorgeous women, some even younger than her, made her feel nauseous suddenly. This was what Xavier’s life was like: a phone full of beautiful women ready to take their clothes off for him, and he was only too happy to oblige them. She thought of her face in the roster, just one more in a never-ending list of conquests.
The room spun. I can’t do this, Emma thought, panic in her throat. I just can’t.
“Emma? What are you doing?” Xavier had come out of the bathroom and stood hesitantly outside the door.
Emma was caught, his phone in her hand. And she felt awash with another wave of new emotions: shame, guilt, embarrassment. She’d been caught snooping. Yet, now, she couldn’t unsee what she saw. She wished she’d never looked at his phone. It was one thing to imagine him with other women. It was another thing to see their faces.
“I think you should go,” Emma said, handing him his phone and wrapping the blanket tightly around her.
Confusion flickered across his face. “Emma...what?” Xavier took the phone reluctantly. He glanced down and saw the Nost app open. “Emma, you can’t be mad about this. You know I’m not looking for anything exclusive. I thought... I mean, we talked about this.”
“I know we did,” Emma said, nodding, biting her lip to fight back the tears that threatened to spill. I was just one woman among so many. He never cared about me. He isn’t capable of caring about any one woman. “I thought I could do it, but I can’t.”
Xavier moved forward, ready to join her on the couch. Emma, in a panic, stood, dropping the blanket on the floor.
“No,” she said, shaking her head and wrapping her arms around herself. “I thought I could do casual. I just can’t. I can’t. The idea of you being with me and then all those other women...” She stared at his phone. “It makes me sick to my stomach. I thought I could do breezy and cool, but you know what? That’s just not me.”
