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“How about I suck on you awhile?”
The idea of this woman doing that...well, he just knew it wouldn’t work. Knew he wouldn’t get hard.
“Wait,” he said, stopping her. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. He’d never turned down an offer like this before. Had he gone mad?
No, he could almost hear his father say. No, you’re just falling in love. Love is its own kind of madness.
“Mr. X? Something wrong, sugar?” she asked him, as he pulled away from her. She pulled herself to her feet.
“I just... I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” He ran a hand through his hair while the woman just stared at him.
“Newbie, huh?” She crossed her arms across her chest, every move now skeptical. Apparently, she’d run into reluctant men on Nost before. That surprised Xavier. He hadn’t realized men would be reticent. Not with a woman as gorgeous as this one in front of him. “Or married?” She quirked an eyebrow.
“Newbie,” he lied. New to love, though, so it wasn’t all a lie. He zipped his pants and backed out of her apartment, glancing back once at the disapproving look on the train girl’s face. “It’s not you,” he said.
“Oh, hell, honey, I know it’s not me.” She sat on her sofa and crossed her fit legs, showing a flash of inner thigh. She shook her head as if to say, you’re missing out, and part of him knew he was. Even as Xavier left, gently shutting the apartment door behind him, he still couldn’t believe he was doing this. He never thought he’d ever feel about a woman the way he felt about Emma. Sure, he’d loved Sasha, but if a gorgeous woman had been on her knees offering him a little piece of heaven, he seriously doubted he’d be able to resist. Emma was different. Emma consumed his thoughts, made him want to be a better man. That was it, really. He’d need to try to be the man Emma deserved.
He flagged down the nearest cab.
All he wanted to do now was find Emma.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ON HER WAY home from lunch, Emma made a few stops including the corner grocery store where she grabbed a few essentials for the week. Her hands laden with a couple of bags, she still felt a heavy weight on her shoulders as she thought about Xavier. She didn’t know why he’d gotten to her so much, but then she knew why: she’d fallen for him. It was that simple. Sarah was right. He did have a magic penis, but he had more than that. She just felt she got him on a deeper level. She understood what it was like to grow up with two very dysfunctional parents as they tried to navigate the ups and downs of serious issues. As much as she wanted to make it just about the sex, it wasn’t. If her own mother had stayed with her chronically depressed father she might have turned out just like Xavier: feeling that no matter what, love was a life sentence.
No wonder he was so riddled with relationship anxiety, unable to commit on the most basic level. But maybe she ought to let him go. After all, he didn’t seem all that willing to change his ways. She remembered the expression on his face when she asked him about ever quitting Nost. His answer was plain to see: never. He was probably, right at that moment, texting another woman, figuring out a time to meet. Then she’d only know him as Mr. X. The thought sent a spike of jealousy into her brain, like an icicle, cold and unyielding. She hated that feeling.
The cold fall wind sliced through her thin utility jacket as she walked down the leaf-laden street near her condo. The sidewalk was surprisingly empty for a Sunday afternoon, and Emma figured the gloom and dark clouds above that threatened rain kept everyone inside. She felt a cold drop on her cheek and hurried her pace, hoping to make it to her condo before the rain hit.
Her phone dinged with the telltale sound announcing an incoming message from Nost, and she paused on the street. She’d forgotten she’d even had the app running at all, and made a mental note to delete it. After all, what was the point in being on it? She’d proven to herself that casual wasn’t what she wanted, and the idea of floating around in the universe that Xavier created felt too painful suddenly.
She shifted the bags in her arms so that her right held them both, and then fished her phone out of her pocket.
Her heart lifted a bit. Maybe Xavier had texted her? Maybe he’d changed his mind? But why would he use Nost? He had her number.
Then she pulled up the message, from a handle she didn’t recognize: Cuming4U.
Ugh, how cheesy, she thought, as she flipped open the message. She nearly stopped in her tracks. Cuming4U had the photo of the man in the Cardinals hat. He wasn’t even trying to hide behind a fake photo anymore. Here he was. She clicked the link to read the full message.
