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Like today. My arms ached, sweat dripped off my forehead, and my chest heaved in protest.
After dropping her onto her mattress, I rested my hands on my knees and struggled to catch my breath. This was the third time in two weeks. Her addiction was getting worse.
I’d missed school the other day because I fell asleep on her bedroom floor, too exhausted to even attempt going back to my own room.
That couldn’t become a thing. If the teachers started questions, there was no way I could answer. The last time I did, Richard punished me as soon as the case worker left our house. If he came back or they found him, and he learned I’d talked, even if I said nothing accusatory…My stomach hurt just thinking about what he would do.
Looking at my sister, you would never know what a wreck she was. I thought drug users stood out, had a certain profile. Cassie didn’t.
Her mocha hair still shined, and her skin was relatively healthy if you ignored the tracks. After checking her pulse and ensuring she wasn’t dying or overdosing, I turned towards the door. She must have been more lucid than I thought because her sweaty hand shot out and grabbed my wrist, making me yelp.
“I know what he did to you, Willow.” Her voice was hoarse, like she hadn’t spoken in days. I froze, knowing exactly what she was talking about.
“Tis okay baby girrrl. I found a way keep ya safe.” Her words slurred together, brown eyes opened and looked straight into mine. They were glazed over from her personal cocktail of drugs and liquor. I tried to pry her hand off me. For someone not in their right state of mind she was surprisingly strong.
“Nick will keep us safe. He loves me. Even after what I did, he loves me,” she sighed, squeezing her eyes shut.
I had no idea who this Nick character was. Cassie had brought him up a few times. Always saying he was involved with bad men, and she wasn’t allowed to tell his secrets. I’d brushed him off as a made-up person, like an imaginary friend. I wanted to ask her who he was. Really, I wanted to ask her anything.
Just because I enjoyed peace and quiet, didn’t mean I liked having no one around to talk to. The condition she was in most of the time, however, ruined the chances of rational conversation.
“I’m sure he will.” I agreed for the sake of not upsetting her. She could get volatile sometimes.
“You’re so kind and sweet. You deserve better,” she choked on her words,
I tugged, and she finally let me go. I tripped over my own two feet, butt landing on the hardwood floor. I scrambled out of the room and didn’t look back.
Panic. It was all I ever felt at the mere thought of talking about Richard and his late-night visits. I stood, leaning against the hallway wall, willing my heart to stop racing in my chest, blinking back tears. If I didn’t talk about it, then it never happened, right?
No one could judge me or look at me in disgust if they never knew, right?
Taking a deep breath, I peered back into my sister’s bedroom and saw she was rolled onto her other side, facing away from me. Doing a quick count to three, I darted past her doorway and ran into my room, where I spent the rest of the day trying to purge unwelcome memories from my mind.
The digital numbers on my alarm clock read eleven-forty.
My sister had drunkenly giggled her way into the house an hour ago. She’d been moaning like a freaking porn star ever since. At eleven years old, I probably shouldn’t have known what porn was, but I did, thanks to Richard.
I watched the numbers on the clock slowly change from eleven-forty to one-fifteen. That’s when the glass shattered, and my heart launched straight into my throat. Anxiety bubbled in my stomach, making its way to my chest. I sat up and listened, waiting to hear Cassie laugh or curse. The front door slammed shut, and seconds later a car started.
Still, I waited. When the clock changed to one-thirty, and I still hadn’t heard a sound from below, I knew something was wrong. I could feel it in my gut. Concern for my sister had me launching out of bed and running from the room.
“Cassie?”
I called out her name, taking the stairs two at a time, getting no response. There were vases of golden lilies sat around the foyer. I ignored them and went straight to the living room. Nothing could have prepared me for what I found.
I would never forget the broken glass from the coffee table cutting into me as I crawled across the floor, and my sister’s naked corpse cradled in my arms.
