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Liz stared at Taylor. Finally she was seeing her sister again after all these years. She didn’t want Taylor’s obvious high to go away so she decided to go with that excitement rather than her own. “Holy shit. Ok so like E. L. James erotic romance good or Linda Lael Miller sexy as hell romantic good?”
“I think he is going to be a little of both.” Taylor giggled at that.
“Bitch. I knew I should have taken him from you when I had the chance to.”
“Not even. This one is all mine. Don’t even try it. Trust me, he ain’t going for it.” That’s right. He’s into me and only me. Her beaming just got even bigger.
“Ok. I’ll not attempt it especially beings you’re so smitten with him. Ok, so I wouldn’t anyways but that is beside the point. Just really try with him ok.” Liz didn’t mean to sound more desperate than Taylor, but the fact was she was tired of seeing her sister die a slow death. Yes physically she was healthy, but mentally she was dying.
“I will. Now if you don’t mind I have two wonderful kids to hug and kiss. I missed them.” Taylor walked past Liz down the hall and entered into Ashley’s room first. There was her beautiful little angel sitter at her table singing ‘You Are My Sunshine’ as she colored in her Dora coloring book.
“Sissy.” Taylor whispered.
“Mommy!” She ran into Taylors arms. “I missed you so much. Why do you have to work? I don’t like it when you work. I miss you sooooo much.” Taylor’s heart caught at her words.
“I’m sorry Sissy. I missed you so much to. Guess what, later we are going to go out for dinner and a movie with my new friend. Would you like that?”
“What movie can we see? Can we see Ice Age? I have been so excited to see it please.”
How could Taylor deny her something as awesome as Ice Age. She laughed. “Where’s Bubby at? Let’s go find him.”
“He’s in his room.” Ashley’s face dropped the minute she answered her Mother.
“What’s wrong baby?” Taylor watched as her little girl struggled for the words.
“He’s sad. He said that Daddy went away and now you are to.” Taylor’s heart broke. Tears flooded her eyes as she fought them back.
“I’m not going anywhere. Why would he think that?”
“I don’t know.” Her eyes were so sad.
“Let’s go find him.” Taylor held Ashley’s brittle fingers as she walked down the hall. As she reached the closed door she reached down picking up Ashley, giving her a big squeeze before setting her back down. Zach was laying on the bed flipping through the channels on his TV. He never flipped through them and Taylor could see his little brain concentrating on something difficult for him.
Trying to make light of the situation she ran up and jumped on the bed. “Hey Buddy!”
“Hey.” His voice sounded so down, depressed even.
“Come on little man, what’s wrong?” Please tell me what’s wrong. I can’t bear you feeling like this. The feeling that I see in your eyes I know too well. Please tell me. For the first time ever she was begging her child to open up to her.
“I thought you had left me. Just like Daddy did.” The minute he spoke his troubles, tears filled his eyes. Oh dear God, what have I done.
“Baby, Daddy didn’t leave you. Honey, Daddy would be with us if he could. You have to know that.”
“Daddy doesn’t even know he is a Daddy.”
“Yes he does. He watches us from heaven every day. He sees what a great young man you are growing into. He watches as you play with Sissy and protect her. And I bet he is jealous cuz you get all our lovin’s.” Again she tried to get a smile out of him but was unsuccessful at it.
His head rested against her chest. She peaked over and she could still see the tears waiting to fall form his precious eyes. She never knew it bothered him not having Chase around. She had tried to keep Chase as much in their lives as she could possibly, but it was quite obvious she hadn’t done that. Lord knew she would do anything, anything at all, to make his pain go away.
Damien! Damien, I know you can hear me. I need your help. You know my heart breaks right now and why? Help me please. Take his pain away. Do this for me. Do this for him. Do this for yourself. Just do it.
Taylor heard a knock on the door. “Hang on little man, be right back.”
“No, Aunt Lizzy can get it, please.” He cried out. So Taylor kept her arms wrapped tightly around him. Holding him. Loving him. She could no longer hide her own tears that burned their way out of her eyes. Then Liz was at the door.
“Hey Zach, we have a visitor. You wanna come say hello.”
“No.” He tightened his grip on her, curling his little fingers into her shirt. She shook her head at Liz and closed her eyes. Damien please help us. I can’t take this anymore. I don’t want him to hurt anymore. How could I have missed this? This is all my fault. I should have been home with my kids instead of out. I knew it was a bad idea. Damn it! How many lives am I going to keep fucking up?
