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Following the signs she made her way to ICU. When she finally made it, Damien was right there beside her. She slowly reached out to hit the button to the door, watching as her fingers trembled. They were bruised and scratched up. She had dirt under her nails. No doubt from the fall. She reached over putting some of the hand sanitizer in the dispenser on them and quickly rubbed it in.
Then taking a deep breath, she pressed the button.
“Can I help you?” A voice on the other end spoke to her.
“I’m Taylor James. I’m here to see my sister Liz….” The woman on the other cut her off.
“We have been expecting you Ms. James. Door is open come on in.” The door buzzed.
Slowly she started putting one foot in front of the other. Damien’s hands on her shoulders, guiding her where to go. She kept her eyes straight in front of her no wanting to see in the doors. His fingers halted her movement.
“To your right.” He whispered. Taylor could hear his voice crack.
She turned watching as Jarrod held Liz’s hand. A very swollen hand. She gasped as she got her first look at her. She didn’t even look like Liz. Her face was bruised and swollen severely. Intubated, blood hanging, foley bag in place with a minute amount of dark urine.
Taylor walked slowly to her bed. She looked up at the bags hanging and running through Liz’s central line. Dopamine and normal saline. That can’t be. There should be more if she’s hurt bad.
“Mrs. James.” Taylor startled by the male voice. A man stood in the doorway, she quickly know he was the Doctor.
“Yes. Call me Taylor please.”
“I’m Dr. Netherland. I’m the attending in charge of your sister’s care. I was actually here last night when they brought her in.”
“How is she?” Tell me. Tell me something.
“I understand that you and your sister are both ER nurses and that you are also part of rapid response.”
“Yes. And?” Come on.
“Because of that, I’m not gonna beat around the bush. If you don’t understand something, please stop me and I will explain. Unfortunately your sister’s injuries are more severe than we can do anything for. When she arrived to us, we coded her. We worked on her for about twenty minutes and we were able to get her back.
“She underwent surgery immediately. We had to remove her spleen. Her pelvis was severely fractured and she had lost a lot of blood. She also has a severe closed brain injury. There isn’t anything that we can do for her. I’m sorry to have to tell you this. She is right now clinically brain dead. We have Dopamine running to keep her pressure stable at this point but the truth is, she was gone when she got here.”
“I’m s…sorry. Did you say she’s brain dead?”
“At this point, I think you need to think about what is the best thing to do for her right now. Think about her quality of life. I don’t know many nurses who see the things we see who would want to remain on support. Do you know how she felt about organ donation?”
“GET OUT RIGHT NOW!” Taylor was pissed. How dare he come in here and talk about her like that. She stared as he turned and walked out. Jarrod followed behind him stopping him. They were talking but Taylor couldn’t hear what they were saying nor did she care at this point.
“Doctors don’t know everything. She’s gonna be just fine.” I know she is. She has to be. She reached out grabbing her hand, leaning down to her ear. “Fight Lizzy. Come on. Prove em wrong. You can do it. I know you can. Just keep fighting. Come on Lizzy hear my voice. Follow my voice Sissy. Please don’t leave me. I need you.”
She stared losing it literally. She couldn’t take it. She felt as if it were her fault. She shouldn’t have had her run, then she wouldn’t have wrecked. She wouldn’t have been in the hospital, brain dead. She wouldn’t be lying there. And somehow Taylor knew what the doctor had said was right. But she couldn’t let go. She wouldn’t let go.
Night came. Day went. Night came. Day went. No changes. Taylor never left her bedside for longer than to go to the bathroom or change her clothes that Damien was sweet enough to fetch for her.
“Sweet.” Taylor turned to him, seeing the look in his eyes, she knew he was holding something back from her.
“What, what is it? Not the twins.”
“No. The twins are fine. Ramee is taking excellent care of them. Jarrod. Well he. You know we have a bond. And you can hear me when you concentrate and I can always hear you.”
“You can hear everyone.” She chuckled. His facial expression remained flat.
“Jarrod can’t feel the bond anymore.”
“What’s that mean?”
“That means she’s gone Sweet.”
