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Hopeless and irrevocably damaged, I lay my head down in Kate’s lap and let her comfort me as I cry for the first time since I was twelve years old.
chapter 24
Ellie
“C’mon love, I have a surprise for you.”
I take James’ outstretched hand and scrunch my brows together. “But the show isn’t over yet. There’s always an encore at these things.”
He smiles and nods as he leads me through the cheering crowd. The noise of almost 90,000 people clapping and hollering for more is near deafening. I actually have to fight the urge to cover my ears as I follow James down the steps of our section and over to the side of the main stage.
“Black, I wasn’t sure if you were coming,” an intimidating, uniformed cop says to James.
“Told you I’d be here. Sean, this is my fiancée, Ellie. Ellie, this is my old partner, Sean Hamilton.”
“Nice to meet you, Ellie,” the large man says. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out two black cards on bright orange lanyards and hands them to James. “Put these on and you’ll be set.”
James turns and puts one over my head and does the same to himself with the other one. “What’s this?” I flip the card up to read the bold white print over the background of flames.
Sean steps aside and opens a door leading to a poorly lit hall under the stage and James tugs me inside as I make out the writing on the card.
INCITE
Backstage Pass
All Access
Sphere of Irony
Oct. 14, Wembley Stadium
I tense up, digging my heels in as Sean closes the door behind us. “What? Backstage! I don’t think…” I’m suddenly and horrifically jolted out of my comforting buzz.
James shushes me before I can finish telling him that this is the worst idea ever. He pushes me up against the wall of the dark hallway and silences me with a kiss. I’m too shocked to stop him or respond to his probing tongue. I simply let him kiss me until he’s finished.
“I arranged this for you so you could see your old mates,” he whispers into my neck, skimming his teeth over my skin.
“But…” I croak, gooseflesh breaking out all over my body, and not from James’ kisses. I’m scared to death to be here, to possibly come face to face with Adam for the first time since he let me know exactly how much he hated me.
“But what, love? Aren’t you excited?” He pulls back and looks down at me, anticipation and adoration shining in his dark eyes. He did this for me, because he loves me and thinks it will make me happy. It’s my fault really, for never telling him the details of mine and Adam’s relationship. He has no idea that we broke each other’s hearts or that I’ll probably never be able to love anyone else, including him.
I smile half-heartedly, hoping it doesn’t look as fake as it feels. “Yeah, great. I’m really excited.”
The lie rings false in my ears, but James doesn’t question it. He grins and takes my hand again, leading me under the stage and up a flight of stairs to the backstage area. It’s much brighter up here, off to the side of the main stage. There are people scurrying about everywhere, and the noise level is almost painful, but all I can hear is the rapid whooshing of my heart pounding in my ears. The thumbnail on my free hand starts to ache when I bite it down too low from worrying on it as James drags me closer to my past.
He doesn’t stop until we’re just off stage, right on the edge of being in view of the audience. The band is already back out for the encore. I watch as Adam grabs his guitar and lifts the strap over his head.
“Alright London! One more for the road, yeah?” Adam’s smooth, sensual voice reverberates throughout the arena, striking me right in my core and making me weak in the knees. When he begins to sing, I nearly collapse on the spot. He makes eye contact with each person along the front row, making them feel as if he’s singing in his sexy voice just for them.
Shit! This is bad. So very very bad.
I pray that Adam exits the stage to the opposite side of where we’re standing. Then I pray that if he does come this way, he doesn’t see me here. After that, I pray that if he does see me, he doesn’t tell me to fuck off like he did the last time he saw me. Mostly, I pray that I don’t throw myself at him and beg him to forgive me for making the biggest mistake of my life.
“Here they come, Ellie.” My head snaps up and I see four familiar faces headed straight for us.
“Oh, fuck,” I whisper much too low for James to hear.
Dax passes by first, his sweaty white T-shirt sticking to each of his rippling muscles. Hawke follows him, too engrossed in conversation with a guy in a headset to notice anyone else. Adam has stopped before reaching us, so he can hand off his guitar to a tall man in a black Sphere of Irony / INCITE Tour Crew shirt. As he lifts his arms and removes the strap, a sliver of skin peeks out from his waistband. I gasp at the glimpse of his tight abs and the sexy trail of dark hair that disappears into his worn jeans, a trail I’ve followed more than once with my mouth and tongue.
