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She steps back and rubs her tiny belly, wrinkling up her nose. “I feel like rubbish. This pregnancy seems harder than my first.”
“Hak! Hak!” Sadie, Adam and Ellie’s little one, holds her arms out, impatient for me to pick her up.
I scoop the toddler up and swing her high in the air. She squeals and giggles uncontrollably, her silky dark hair tumbling around her face. “How are you, Miss Sadie?” She responds by blowing a raspberry at me and grabbing my glasses off my face.
I wrestle them back from what has to be the strongest toddler on earth, and tuck them in my shirt pocket so she can’t get her tiny hands on them again.
“You’re just like your daddy,” I chuckle. “Always getting into trouble.”
“I’m not always in trouble,” Adam announces, entering the house through the back door as Gavin and Mitch slip out. Sadie squirms and struggles in my grip, whining for Adam.
“Fine,” I pout, handing her over to Adam. “Leave me for another man. I’ll remember that, little one.” I touch my index finger to the tip of her button nose.
Sadie grins and promptly smacks her father in the eye.
“Ow! Buggar, Sadie!”
Ellie and I exchange glances and crack up. Adam shifts his daughter to one arm and rubs his eye with his free hand. “That’s not funny, you tossers. That bloody hurt.”
“That’s why it’s so funny,” Ellie giggles. “Come on, Hawke.” She hooks her arm through mine. “Let’s go outside. The patio is beautiful and Dax has food on the grill.”
Grinning, I open the door for Ellie and follow her outside, Adam close behind with Sadie in his arms as he chastises her for punching him in the eye. The second I step out onto the flagstone patio, I stop dead.
“What the—?” Adam slams into my back, holding back a curse. “Hawke! Move your arse. I almost dropped my daughter, you numpty!”
I step aside to let him pass, but can’t pull my gaze away from the tall, willowy blonde across the patio, her back to me, leaning on the wrought-iron railing. Naturally, no one bothered to mention Abby would be here. Sometimes I wonder if my friends either love to embarrass me or if they flat-out know me better than I think, because on one hand I want to see Abby so badly it hurts, but on the other, I would never admit it to anyone, including myself.
“Hawke!” Dax booms, thumping on my back with his huge hand. “You made it!” I flinch from the heavy smack and tear my eyes from Abby to acknowledge my bandmate. He has a set of tongs in one hand and is wearing a black apron that says “I Rub My Meat” in bright red letters.
“Why wouldn’t I make it?” I ask, pulling my brows together.
Dax laughs. “Who knows? Why do you do anything you do? After bailing from my house a few months ago, I haven’t heard a peep from you. I never know what to expect when it comes to Hawke Evans.”
He turns back to the grill and pokes at the various items with the tongs. I duck my head to hide my embarrassment. Of course Dax would bring up me taking off in the middle of the night. He doesn’t know I left Abby in bed alone, but it hurts just the same. My friends don’t know what happened that night between me and Abby, but I know, and I feel like crap about it. Worse, I’m sure I hurt Abby in the process. And now she’s here.
Shit.
Deciding I have no choice unless I want everyone to see the uncomfortable tension between us, I suck up my pride, grab a beer, and cross
the patio to join Abby.
I’m still a few steps away when she twists her head around to glance at me before continuing to take in the view of the city. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she asks with her back to me.
Not as beautiful as you.
I clear my throat, swigging from my beer to combat the sudden dryness in my mouth. “Yeah. It is.” Abby continues to stare out at the Los Angeles skyline. “I-I’m sorry, Bee. About ditching you at Dax and Kate’s house.” My fingers find the edge of the red and white label on my beer, picking at the corner until it starts to peel up.
Abby sighs, long and loud. “I know you are, Hawke. I should have learned by now.” Her words drive a stake right through my heart. Even after all the shit I’ve done, she still won’t get angry, won’t yell and scream and give me what I deserve. It makes me feel worse. Ashamed, I can only nod. “Listen…” she says. I glance up to find her watching me with a guarded expression, her arms crossed over her midsection, hugging herself. “Maybe…maybe we can be friends. It was…nice seeing you again, and honestly, I still missed you.”
Nice? Friends? Again, her words cut me to the quick. Her expectations of me are so high to think I could ever come through for her, yet so low that she doesn’t want anything more from me. I feel like a failure.
I take a step forward to stand next to her at the railing, our shoulders and hips brushing. My free hand curls around the metal rail.
“Friends, huh?” I try to sound light and unaffected, catching her smiling out of the corner of my eye.
“Why not?” Abby lays her hand on top of mine. Her familiar touch relaxes me in a way only she can. “Everything else we’ve tried hasn’t worked. Friends seems the best way to stay in each other’s lives without screwing up again.”
I pull my hand out from under Abby’s, putting it on top of hers. Rubbing my thumb across her soft skin, I consider her offer. I’m glad she’s not kicking my pathetic ass to the curb and telling me to fuck off and die, but the thought of never lying in bed together, her naked, watching me sink my cock into her, is depressing.
