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I use every bit of strength and concentration I can manage to force back the panic threatening to overflow so I can pull on a pair of pants and stuff my feet into my shoes. All I want to do is fall to the ground and sob, but somehow, I stay upright and do as my mother says, helping her get the boys out of bed and dressed.
This is only the beginning.
Hawke
My body is crumpled up in an odd position. One arm is twisted underneath me, one sprawled up over my head, and my legs are curled up into my abdomen. I try to sit up and immediately regret moving. A white-hot, stabbing pain pierces my skull, radiating out the back. It’s as if the entire chorus of Riverdance is stomping on my head at once. Moaning, I dig the heels of my hands into my temples, pressing hard in a pathetic attempt to alleviate the pain.
“Fuck.”
Once the world stops spinning, I take a look around. It’s pitch black out and the only sound is the crashing of waves on the shore. It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust and I finally figure out where I am. I’m lying on the sand next to the remains of the bonfire. The party is over. No one else is anywhere nearby.
Lila left me on the beach? Alone? Fuck, I knew she was a bitch. Anger like I’ve ever known wells up inside. I’m so furious if anyone were here, I’d punch the shit out of them.
I pull out my phone and check the time. Almost midnight. Not super late then. The party started way early, or more accurately, we started partying too early. My finger hesitates over the button, but really, do I have a choice? It’s not like I have a bunch of friends I can call to come get me. Everyone I know was here with me, and left me behind. Hell, I don’t even have Lila’s phone number to call and rip her a new one.
Still pissed, I push the button and tap the fingers of my free hand on my knee, drumming out a random rhythm to calm down.
“Hawke?”
“Mom? I think… I think I need your help.”
“Honey? What’s wrong?”
I swallow back the anger and my parched throat is on fire, as if someone took a blowtorch to it or shoved a glowing hot poker down my esophagus. “I need a ride.”
“What happened to Lila, sweetie?”
Scowling, I stop tapping and dig my fingers into my leg. I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from taking out my rage on my mom. “Lila took off. I don’t have a way home.”
There’s a pause, and for a moment, I wonder if my mom is deciding whether or not to leave me here. Or maybe she’s questioning how I ended up stranded at a party.
“Where are you? We’ll be right there.”
“We?”
“We just left dinner with Sebastian, honey. We ate, then went to visit Reid Tannen and Eva Allen. The men lost track of time talking about their new project. Hannah wanted to see Sydney, so she’s with us too. Where are you?”
I drop my head into my hands and groan. Great. The entire family gets to witness not only my humiliation at being ditched by my friends, but my craptastic drug hangover that has me seething mad.
“Zuma Beach.”
“We’re on our way, sweetie. Meet us in the parking lot.”
“Fine.”
I hang up and rub a hand down my face. Shit. What the hell was I thinking coming here with Lila? I must have been fucking insane to do whatever the hell I did last night. My head jerks up and the phone slides out of my hand, landing softly on the beach.
Lila. Holy shit. Images of the two of us grinding together, kissing, clothes coming off… stumbling into the backseat of her car. My headache explodes into unbelievable agony. Oh my god. I had sex with Lila Fucking Griffin.
I must be the stupidest asshole on earth. I pick up the phone and jam it into my pocket. It cracks against the smooth stone Hannah gave to me.
Some good luck charm. It turned me into a total fuckup.
My self-flagellation is interrupted when a pair of headlights shine across the beach, casting the sand in a yellow-gray glow. Before I can bring up another awful memory from earlier today, I brush off my clothes and hop into the backseat of my dad’s car.
“You look like crap,” Hannah whispers, her eyes half closed.
I ignore her and lean against the window, pissed off and ashamed. Mom looks over her shoulder and gives me a worried smile, but otherwise, the car is silent. My parents are so awesome. Somehow they understand I don’t want to discuss anything tonight. I’m sure tomorrow my mom won’t be as understanding and will want at least a few details of how I became stranded on a deserted beach in the dark.
