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and I take it from him. In the last second, he keeps it between us and says in a cool tone, “Take care of them and of yourself.”
I give a sharp nod. “Yes, sir.”
His lips curve in a smile. “Calvin’s fine.”
I smile back. “Yes, Calvin.”
32
Kimberly
Healing is a slow, painful process.
For the following week, I discover how weak I actually am. Even when Dad, Elsa, and Xander say otherwise.
I’m weak, because I still hide whenever Mum is in sight. I’m weak, because I’m scared of eating, and whenever I do, I vomit it right back up.
I’m weak, because I’m starting to think I’m a burden to everyone, even when my therapist has been trying to purge those thoughts.
Then in the midst of weakness, like now, he comes in.
Xander.
My knight, even if it’s in a different way than when we were children. He used to carry me on his back, and now, he pulls me to his side as if I’ve always belonged there.
After I return to school, he’s there every step on the way. Without saying any words, he announces to RES’s student body that I’m now his and if anyone breathes in my direction, let alone says anything, they better start preparing their funerals.
He holds my hand and kisses me in the halls as if we’ve been doing it for eternity.
He whispers things into my ears, like how much he misses me, even though I’m right there.
I’ve become so used to his presence, as if we were never separated, as if we’re picking up right where we left off seven years ago. Maybe that’s why whenever he disappears, the fog begins to slowly creep in through the cracks.
Today, I met Silver in the library, and although we didn’t speak, it brought back memories of the times where I hated myself and envied her body.
Through the years, I’ve always wondered why she grew up to be so beautiful while I became a potato. And sometimes, like now, those thoughts return with a vengeance. That’s why I’m hiding in the back garden.
Elsa’s been watching me eat my food and has been following me to the bathroom to make sure I don’t stick my finger down my throat.
Since that infamous night, I haven’t done it, but I can’t help feeling the involuntary need to puke. The doctors say it’s psychological.
Eating disorder.
Mental disorder.
Life disorder.
All I want is some solitude to collect myself and go back in there.
I’m not even three minutes in before Xan’s silhouette appears from between the trees. His blond hair is styled back and his Elites’ jacket forms to his bulging muscles. I wonder if there will ever be a day where I’ll look at him and not think he’s blindingly beautiful.
He slides beside me, and I can’t help the smile that breaks out on my lips. I might have wanted solitude, but not from him – never from him.
I let my head drop on his strong bicep. “I thought you guys had a meeting with the team manager?”
“We’re done. Or I’m done, anyway.”
“Are you still suspended?”
