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My lips part, then I quickly clamp them shut at the thought he might consider that as an invitation.
Damn him and damn me.
“Kimmy! Xan!” Kirian hops in front of the car. “Come on!!”
I raise my hand in a small wave, using the chance to pull out from Xander’s orbit. It’s like a magnet that keeps dragging me in despite my attempts to stay away.
When I chance a glance back at Xander, he’s not intimidating me with his gaze as he was a moment earlier. He’s staring at my hand, my wave, and then his focus slips for a moment.
No, no, no.
I drop my hand to my side and pull down the sleeve of my woollen pullover as I brush past him towards Kir.
He didn’t see.
He couldn’t.
5
Xander
Elsa’s foster sister, Teal, has taken Kirian downstairs. Judging by his sly grin, he’ll probably charm her to get himself another brownie.
I was supposed to go with him or search for Aiden, but I find myself at the door of Elsa’s room, staring through the small opening like a fucking creep.
Hey, don’t judge. Creeps have reasons, too.
Elsa is on her bed, wearing her pyjamas. Her long blonde hair is tied in a ponytail that covers most of her back. Kimberly has a bent leg on the bed as she smiles along with something Elsa’s saying about her stupid soap operas and shit.
She’s been telling Elsa how much she’s missed her and that the school sucks without her. Every time Elsa reaches over to her friend’s hand, Kimberly tactfully pulls it away, keeping it beside her.
I tilt my head to the side as if that will give me an exclusive view of all the inside info. I’m itching to go in there and fucking rip up the sleeve of that pullover to see beneath it.
What the fuck are you hiding?
“Take these.” Elsa picks up some avocado pieces with her fork and gives them to her friend. “Since Dad and Aunt learnt that avocados are good for heart disease, they’ve been stuffing me with them.”
“I’m good.”
“Come on. Try them. They’re wonderful.”
A smile flashes on Kimberly’s lips, which is obviously forced, as she grips the fork with trembling fingers and stuffs the pieces of fruit in her mouth. The way she makes herself chew is like she’s eating a dead insect.
Since the beginning of this year when she returned to school looking slim and hollow, I knew a big chunk of her was missing, aside from her curves.
She’d become this mimicking of a person who bent to others’ views of what they thought she should look like.
The Kimberly I knew wouldn’t have followed others’ instructions about her life. She wouldn’t have looked at herself in the mirror and thought, hey, how about I become someone else?
I might have hated her more than before, I might have watched her through the window and contemplated how to fuck her life over and ruin whatever the hell she was trying to become.
But as I watch her now, and after I saw that shit earlier and heard what Kir said when he was frantic that she was with Jeanine, I’m starting to have a different thought altogether.
Maybe the fake behaviour isn’t her endgame.
When we used to play hide and seek as kids, Kimberly used to put a pillow in her bed and cover it. She said it served as her camouflage, something to hide her actual position.
Is all the fakery a camouflage, too?
