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“It’s a black day to me, too, Cole. My parents decided to split up on this day ten years ago. People say it gets better, but it never has. I still feel that loss and it hurts, but I grieved. Why don’t you try it?”
How can you try something you’ve never felt? I don’t even know what grief means.
A crazy idea hits me and I voice it before thinking about it. “Jump with me, Butterfly.”
“Jump with you where?”
“In the pool.”
“Now?” She stares between me and the water. “But it’s freezing.”
“Are you a coward?”
“No.”
“Then do it.”
“Fine —”
Before she can finish her reply, I grab her by the arm and we both jump. The splash of the water mixes with Silver’s gasp before we go under.
Down…
In blood.
The water is blood.
Red engulfs me in his clutches. A black hand pulls at my ankle, yanking me to the bottom. I don’t fight it. I can’t. If I do, he won’t let me go. If I do, he’ll just grab me tighter. He’ll tell me I’m a monster and that I should —
Two hands touch my cheeks — soft, tender hands — and guide me to the surface.
Silver.
Her golden hair is wet, sticking to her temples, and her frantic, bright eyes search mine. Her palms are still around my cheeks as her body moulds to mine under the water. Only our heads are on the surface level.
The water’s still bloody, but it’s slowly returning to that blue colour. There’s no hand pulling me under into nowhere.
“What is wrong with you? You scared the shit out of me, Cole.” She pants. “Are you okay?”
I wrap my hand around her nape and take claim of her lips. I kiss her in gratefulness. I consume her as my form of thanks.
Silver wrenched me from the water, not only now, but also ten years ago.
My chaos.
My damnation.
27
Silver
“I’m off!” I run down the steps, juggling my bag and the containers.
“Darling,” Helen calls after me, carrying my thermos. “You forgot the tea you made.”
“Oh, right. Thanks, Helen. You’re the best.” I hug her and slap a loud kiss on her cheek.
I feel like a cheater whenever I’m with Helen or with Mum. Why can’t I have both mothers?
