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I cry for something that was never there. But just because the test was negative doesn’t mean I don’t feel the loss.
It doesn’t mean I don’t feel like I’m missing a part of me. A chance of an alternative future, of a different life, another…possibility.
Because I know, I just know that if it were real, Cole and I would’ve fought for it. He would’ve taken me somewhere none of the reporters or the people from back home could find us.
Now, I have to return to the reality that I’m fucking my stepbrother and that while there isn’t a baby this time, life as we know it will be over if anyone catches us.
My head’s been in the clouds and now I have to drop back to the ground.
The next morning, Cole tries to drag me into town. He ambushes me after I’m out of my shower, standing in front of the bathroom in his stylish jeans and T-shirt with his hair combed.
No matter how much I love his appearance, I’m in no mood to leave my bed today. “I want to stay in my room until it’s time to go home.”
“Huh.” He stares down at me with his signature blank expression.
“What?”
“I didn’t know you were a bore aside from being a coward.”
“Hey!” I punch him in the shoulder.
The faintest smile grazes his lips. “Forget it. I’ll go without you. I don’t need cowards on my tours.”
I hear him greet the butler good morning and tell him he’ll have breakfast outside.
That wanker.
I throw on a cute peach-coloured mini-dress with a strappy back and gather my hair into a ponytail. After I shove my feet into the first pair of shoes I find, I storm out behind him.
It’s when I’m by the entrance that I realise I haven’t put on any makeup. Whatever. I’m in no mood for that.
I catch up to Cole by the hill of the house, walking slowly.
“I’m not a coward.” I pant as I keep up with his pace.
He smiles but says nothing. Instead, he threads his fingers with mine. The softness of his touch nearly breaks my heart all over again.
Your pain is my pain, Butterfly.
That was the first time I’d been able to breathe since the doctor said it was a false positive. Knowing that Cole, of all people, understood that pain made it less sharp. It’s still there, but I feel a certain type of peace knowing I have him with me.
Wait. He’s holding my hand. He shouldn’t.
I stare over my s
houlder and try to wiggle away, but he doesn’t let me go. “Cole! We’re in public.”
“We’re not in England. No one knows us here.” He drags me closer into his side. “Stay still.”
No one knows us here.
The only one who does is probably Lucien’s butler, and he’s out of the picture now.
A surreal sense of levitation takes hold of me as I let Cole lead me in the direction of the nearest town.
Renewed energy engulfs me. I soak in my surroundings, the bright blue sky and the warm sun. In the confines of the tight streets and vintage feel of the roads, it’s like a scene from a novel.
“There was a destructive battle here during the world war,” Cole says as we pass old buildings. “Our troops fought for the French on these same streets.”
