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My eyes softened.
“I never wanted this. Now it feels like I’ve got a wife and a kid…”
“But you’re happy—”
“I’m really fucking happy.” His powerful voice came out strong, filling the air with his innate power. “Doesn’t alter the fact that everything’s changing. I’m not the man with you as the prisoner. Now, I feel like the damn prisoner. I can’t escape your beauty, the way you make me feel, and I can’t stop thinking about you all day at work. On top of that, I never wanted a family, and now I’m having a daughter…and I fucking love her more than anything. It’s like…my heart lives outside my body. Everything has changed so drastically, and I fucking hate it.” He moved his hand back into his hair and looked at me.
Hot tears burned under my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. I couldn’t care less that he wouldn’t say he loved me. He’d just admitted it in his own way.
“I don’t care if Giovanni works or not. I don’t care if you want to make Christmas dinner. I couldn’t care less. It just reminded me that I don’t have as much power anymore…because I’m sharing it with you.”
I hated it when he acted like an asshole, but when he poured his heart out to me, it made me love him even more than I did before. My heart began to love him even more deeply. “Is sharing power that difficult?”
He continued to stand in front of the TV. “My father made all the money. Mother didn’t work. So when he took off, we were penniless. Mother had to work two jobs, and by the time I was fourteen, I was picking up work wherever I could. My mother didn’t have any skills because she assumed she would be a housewife. Watching my father abandon us haunted me, but being so dependent on him was the worst part. None of us were prepared for it. I just never want to feel that way again, to rely on someone to be there and then they leave me destitute.”
I stared at the strong man I’d fallen in love with, and I knew his boyish roots were still deep in his soul. He was the strongest man I knew, a powerful provider and a ruthless dictator. But his ambitions were ruled by heartbreak. “I’m not going anywhere, Cato.”
“You left me once.”
“Because I—”
“You took my daughter away from me. You took you away from me.”
“Let’s not forget why,” I said gently, not wanting him to flip the story on me.
He turned his gaze and looked out the window. “I just don’t like someone having more power than me—in any scenario. I need to control everything, even something so minor as the staff. You aren’t a guest here. But this is still my domain.”
I could tell he was continuing to keep me at a distance, but I couldn’t understand why. There was always a subtle wall keeping us apart. I didn’t know if he still contemplated killing me. Or maybe his feelings didn’t mirror mine. “Is that why you won’t tell me you love me?” Confessing feelings as strong as those would give me the upper hand. I would know how he really felt—and I could use that to my advantage.
He didn’t give me an answer. “I’m sorry for the way I acted. But that’s just how I am. I can’t promise it won’t happen again in the future. That would require me to be a different person.”
“People turn into different people all the time. It’s called growing. Whether you like it or not, you’re growing every day. You’re slowly becoming a different man—a better man. I know it’ll take time for you to trust me fully, and I’ve got all the time in the world. Regardless of your dumb outbursts, I’ll still love you. I may yell at you and slap you upside the head, but my love will never change. I’ll never abandon you, Cato. As long as you never give me a reason to.”
His blue eyes turned to mine, and there was a slight hint of emotion in his gaze. He was still boarded up like an old house that was almost too much work to fix. But with enough care and patience, he could be better than he ever was. “Why did you want me to wear this?”
I stood up and pulled on mine. “You’ll see.”
He shook his head slightly. “I don’t think I want to see.”
“You owe me, alright? Don’t forget it.”
“Like you would ever let me.”
We headed downstairs and stood in front of the tree. “Giovanni?”
He came out of the kitchen and tried not to laugh when he looked at Cato.
“If you want to keep your job, I suggest you keep it together,” Cato warned.
I nudged him in the side. “Don’t talk like that.” I handed Giovanni the phone.
