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Did she find where they are holding Rose? If so, what do the ducts have to do with it? Is that the only way to get to the room where they are holding Rose? Or is this some elaborate way to convince me to quit so she doesn’t have to see me in pain anymore?
I peer at Liesel over the top of my cards at the next table. She is looking right at me, not bothering to look at her own cards. Her eyes are wild and desperate.
Trust me, she mouths.
Trust her.
I close my eyes, trying to listen with my heart. My heart wants me to throw Liesel over my shoulder and run as far away from this place as my feet will take us. My heart wants me to save Liesel and then find another way to save Rose.
Trust her.
I love Liesel. I know that. Part of loving her means trusting her. It’s not something I’m good at, but if I love her, maybe I should start trying.
I’m the first at my table to bet. I bet everything, which only gets me to nineteen points. It won’t be enough.
It’s not.
Liesel wins her hand, knocking another person out of her table.
My eyes lock with hers as I stand up and walk to the stage area. They never leave hers. That’s not unusual; my eyes are always on hers when I’m suffering.
This time is different, though. This time I look at her to make sure she hasn’t lost her damn mind. Or she’s not trying to sacrifice herself to save me. I look for any sign that she’s changed her mind.
But she looks completely at peace when she sees that I’m going to do what she asks.
I don’t know what my dares are, but I feel a slash land on my already ripped apart back. I usually try to keep the pain inside, but this time I let out the wince. Then another, louder groan with the second beating.
I fall to my knees on the third.
The fourth—tears are falling down my face.
And by the fifth, I’m holding my hand up in surrender.
The room gasps as I give up, collapsing in a heap on the floor, completely defeated.
The room is silently watching and judging me. Then they turn their attention to Liesel. I lift my head enough to see tears falling down her face.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Each drip is a mark on my soul. I feel like I failed her, even though I’m doing what she says she wants.
The room may think the tears burning down her cheeks are a sign of defeat, fear, and heartbreak.
Only I can see the truth behind the tears. I see the absolute relief and the hint of a smile she holds back, so the others don’t get suspicious.
Eventually, I’m lifted onto my feet by two men. I’m walked off the stage and led out of the room, away from Liesel.
That’s when my heart starts losing its shit. I just left her in a room full of dangerous men to fend for herself while I go in search of our daughter that she thinks I’ll be able to find if I use the ducts. Liesel’s lost it. What the hell was I thinking leaving her?
I should go back, change my mind. I can’t leave her.
The men continue to drag me by my arms. I don’t know where they are taking me; I just know they need to turn around and take me back to Liesel.
Suddenly, I’m falling face-first onto a tiled floor. I catch myself at the last second.
