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Because he is the man I love above all else.

I love him. And I won’t let him torture Liesel, and in turn, destroy himself.

I love Enzo—I would eventually forgive him for this. That’s what love is.

But Enzo doesn’t love anyone, including himself. He won’t be able to forgive himself for this. And I know that pain is something he will never be able to stop living with.

I walk over to the table and examine every weapon. I run my hands over each of them, feeling the pain they will enact with only a touch because I’ve felt every one

of these weapons myself. I’ve felt the pain.

I close my eyes, sucking the tears back inside as I pick up my weapon. Already knowing my soul is about to turn black. My heart and soul are about to be given to the devil, freely. I’m about to curse my soul to hell, all to save a man I love. And I’m going to deserve every moment of fire and torture I’ll get.

20

ENZO

MY SCREAM IS primal and evil and love and sacrifice and fucking everything. The scream sucks my life from me, while also energizing me.

And I curse my father who is burning in hell for creating this disgusting, cruel game.

But then what did I expect?

My father prepared me my entire life for this exact game. Which is why I learned to never truly love another person, so if I was forced to hurt them, it wouldn't truly matter because I wouldn't love them. My heart is guarded from the world because I don't love. And the world is safe from me because I can do what is necessary to prevent truly evil things from hurting the innocent, even at the cost of my friends.

But there is just one problem with my plan. Somehow along the way, my heart opened, maybe not enough to love, but enough to make vows of loyalty. Vows that tiptoe on the edges of loving another person.

I’ve only ever made two vows in my life. One to protect Liesel. The other to save Kai. And I’m about to break one of those vows today, because I can only save and protect one of them.

This shouldn’t hurt me; my soul is already stained black. I already surrendered my heart to the devil years ago, when my mother died because of my gun. Because I couldn’t save her.

And if I don’t decide quickly, I won’t be able to save either woman.

“What is your secret?” I ask Liesel. Hoping she will spare us all a lot of pain by just fucking telling me. But then Liesel was never one to save me back. I’ve protected her countless times, but she’s never protected me. Not that I deserve anyone’s protection.

“I can’t tell you,” she says, crossing her legs as she takes a seat on the chair I’m meant to interrogate and torture her in.

“Why?” I growl.

“Because I want to protect you.”

I scoff. “You’ve never wanted to protect me before.”

Our eyes burn into each other, sharing our pain, the love we could have had if we weren’t both raised in this fucked up world.

“Fine, I want to protect myself. I want to protect what little love you have for me, because if I tell you my secret, it will break you. You will hate me, and I can’t live with your hate,” she says.

Finally, the truth.

Hearing Liesel’s truth is so different from when Kai spills a secret to me. When Kai tells me a truth, it’s because she wants me to know her better. When Liesel tells a truth, it’s to hide more of herself from me.

“Tell me, Liesel. Make this simple, easy. Get back at my father. You hate him as much as I do. It would be like killing him all over again if we defied his game, and I learned your secret without hurting you.”

She smirks, looking bored. “It would be great revenge.”

Yes, please, just tell me. I don’t even care what it is. Just tell me.

“Tell me your secret. Whatever it is won’t change things between us.”

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