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And then she’s gone.
I follow up to the top deck to watch her leave. Langston joins me.
“Why are you letting her go when you know Milo is still out there? You know he survived,” Langston says.
“Because it’s the only way to save her.”
“What? That makes no sense.”
“It doesn’t, but it’s the truth.” Unlike everything we just said to each other. Everything we said before was lies. I will always try to protect her. And she will always try to protect me.
We both knew Milo is still alive.
We both knew the other tried to make a deal with the devil himself.
But Milo will only take one of our deals—mine. He will not take Kai. Kai will be free. And when the deal is done, Kai will disappear into the crowd. She will no longer be in danger. She will get a fresh start.
She will be safe; I’ll make Langston swear to that.
She will always be protected; even if she never learns of the love I have for her, she will be safe. That’s the promise I vowed to keep no matter what. No matter if I have to sacrifice my own life to keep it.
29
KAI
Kai’s Lie
ENZO GAVE ME MY FREEDOM.
Or at least the illusion of freedom.
He set me free. He gave me the one thing I’ve been asking for since he took me.
I should be happy, grateful, elated.
Instead, I’m focused on saving Enzo from the danger.
I’m tired of fighting.
I’m tired of losing people. Zeke is enough. I can’t bear to lose Enzo too.
So I lied to Enzo.
Repeatedly.
I lied when I said Milo was dead, when I overheard Enzo and Langston talking about Milo being alive.
I lied when I said I wouldn’t protect Enzo, because the only thing I care about is keeping him safe.
And I lied to myself when I pretended I can survive being separated from Enzo—I can’t.
I made a deal with the devil to keep Enzo safe.
When Milo came to the yacht searching for me before the war started, we had a moment to talk—alone.
And I gave him what he wanted—me.
I would give myself to Milo freely and willingly for the rest of my life, if he sparred Enzo. If he let Enzo live, then I would be his. If he let the Black empire remain Enzo’s, I would be his.
