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I fall to my knees. You win. You fucking win.
The sobs continue, and the pain wrenches through my body like a continuous stream of nails plunging into my body. The pain will never stop again.
This is it—the end of my world.
And I’m more than ready for it to be over.
1
ENZO
“I LOVE YOU, STINGRAY,” I say, my words traveling around the cabin of the yacht.
Liesel looks at me with a mix of yearning and sympathy, because she knows how Kai feels. She knows Kai won’t say I love you back. Her feelings have changed. And our roles have reversed.
Liesel stands up from her chair, giving Kai a look that says we will talk more later. Then she walks toward where I stand in the doorway.
And I wish I would have entered earlier. I wish I would have heard Liesel and Kai’s conversation. Liesel was the first one to get Kai to talk. It should have been me.
Instead, it was fucking Liesel.
And that kills me.
Liesel places her hand on my shoulder and gives me a squeeze. That gesture should comfort me. Instead, it breaks me further. Because her eyes tell a different story. Her eyes say, you have no chance. Kai has changed.
But I refuse to believe it. Kai has been broken before. Kai has given up hope before. She’s locked herself away before—this is no different.
I just need time to break down her walls again. Time to earn her forgiveness and trust.
Time.
I have plenty of it now that Milo is dead.
Liesel shuts the door behind me, and I stand with my hands in the pockets of my jeans. A gesture I’ve mastered ever since I got Kai back. With my hands stuck in my pockets, I’m less likely to reach out and touch her. But it still takes all of my willpower to not wrap her in my arms. To keep my lips from kissing hers tenderly, and passionately. I need to feel all o
f her. But that’s selfish, and after failing her, I don’t deserve to be selfish.
I take Liesel’s empty seat across from where Kai is sitting as she stares out the large window of the cabin.
Kai looks at me as I sit, which I guess I should consider progress. She hasn’t looked at me since the first night when I found her drenched in Milo’s blood. Her body traumatized by what Milo had done to her. And that night, she begged me to fuck her. She wanted me to take Milo away. Rip him from her brain, and replace my body with his.
And I gladly gave Kai what she needed. I was hesitant, unsure if fucking her would help her heal or make things worse. But I did it. Because I needed the connection as much as she did.
And when we fucked, I thought we were going to make it. That it was the beginning of us healing from something so unthinkable. Something so painful and traumatic no person should ever have to suffer like that.
But the second my cum shot inside her, and she came down from her orgasm, everything changed.
Not like before—Kai didn’t lock herself away with her shield, her walls up to keep herself from hurting. This is different.
More happened than just Milo raping her. No matter how horrible that must have been for her, there is more. Because being raped would have been bearable for Kai. But whatever happened was worse.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I need to learn how to meditate or do yoga or some shit like that to keep my patience in check. I used to be so patient, so calm. I used to be able to handle any amount of waiting; delayed gratification was my middle name. But when it comes to Kai, I have no patience. I need her like I need air. And I need her to be happy and safe more than I need oxygen.
Truth or lie? I don’t love Enzo Black.
Truth.
Those words slaughtered me. I’ve been through an eternity of pain over the last few months. My entire life, in fact, has been one long stream of torture. But those words killed me in a way I didn’t think was possible. I felt suffocated. Still alive, but unable to get the breath I desperately needed. Just enough oxygen slipping through my lungs to keep me alive but in a state of pain forever.
