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I hold her tightly, as another piece of my heart heals. Another part of me is whole again.
“How?” we both ask.
But the tears tell me it’s the wrong question.
“Kai?” I ask.
Her jaw tightens, and more tears fall as she slowly shakes her head no.
Langston and now Liesel have both confirmed they think Kai is dead. Felix said she was dead, but I don’t believe a word out of his mouth. I saw the evidence myself. But somehow the ghosts of my life keep finding a way back to me.
Langston.
Liesel.
They both died.
But yet, here is Liesel.
“Langston’s alive too,” I say.
She bites her lip like she wants to say something but decides against it. Finally, she says, “Is he here?”
“No, he um…” I rub my neck. How do I tell her he had a psychotic break? “He decided he needed to stay dead a little longer.”
She nods. “Let’s get a drink.”
We both sit at the bar. She orders another chardonnay. I order a whiskey.
“What are you doing in LA?” I ask.
She stiffens, her fingers sliding up and down the stem of her wine glass. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Liesel? Are you in trouble?”
She shakes her head. “Not anymore. I was broken. Devastated by all that I had lost. I needed to get away. I needed to find something worth living for again. This is where I ended up.”
I can read between the lines. I know what she isn’t saying. She came here to find the child she gave up, the only thing in her head worth living for. But if she doesn’t want to talk about it, I won’t ask.
“You should know, Felix is possibly here, in LA,” I say.
Her shoulders tense at Felix’s name.
“Are you sure?”
“I don’t know yet. I’m following a lead. It could be nothing, or he could be here.”
She nods. “I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be talking to you.”
I hate how all the people I love have to run from me to stay safe. Danger follows me everywhere. She’s right. She isn’t safe with me.
I wish Langston had come with me. I could have told him to take Liesel with him. Protect her and keep her safe. They both love each other. But he’s already gone. And I have no way to contact him.
I could suspend my search for Felix, find Langston instead, get Liesel somewhere safe, then resume my hunt for Felix again.
“You have to disappear. You have to remain dead. If Felix thinks you are dead, then you are in no danger.”
She nods.
