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He looks up at me with troubled eyes. “Is this your first time, princess ?”
“No,” I whisper. But it might as well be. It’s been three years. And even then, it only happened a handful of times, and none of them felt even a fraction as good as this has so far .
His eyes travel over my face, trying to understand the contradiction between my words and what my body is saying. He tucks a hair behind my ear, trying to calm my nerves. “I’m not going to hurt you, princess .”
I nod, but I can’t control my body. I can’t keep it from reacting this way. When he realizes that I’m not going to relax from just his words, he tries with his lips, with his tongue. His tongue sinks into my mouth, and I lose myself in his kiss .
His hand finds my clit again, and he works me into a frenzy of need. I moan as I grow closer. I’m so close to coming. My eyes open for just a second, and I see him giving me one final warning with his eyes before he sinks inside me .
“Fuck, Killian,” I moan as he stretches me with his cock. I didn’t even realize I could stretch that wide for him .
“You’re beautiful, princess. Look at me,” Killian says, taking me off the pain for a second .
When I do, I see the appreciation there. I moisten my lips moments before his lips join with mine again. I feel him sink further into me, but this time, my body welcomes the wince of pain because it knows it’ll bring me closer to the pleasure that is about to ensue .
His hands lock back with mine, high over my head, as he gently rocks inside me. We both moan as he does. The pleasure begins to sweep over my body with each movement. His body moves slowly at first in a steady rhythm that my body easily matches .
His body quickly increases his rhythm, thrusting harder and faster. Eac
h time his body presses into mine, another jolt of pleasure flows through every nerve ending in my body. Each thrust brings me closer and closer to exploding in ecstasy. Each thrust sweeps me further and further under his spell .
“Come for me,” he says, his voice primal and raspy .
I realize he’s panting just as hard as I am .
I moan as he thrusts again, bringing me so close .
“Come for me, princess,” he says again .
This time, I do. I feel the warm waves of pleasure flow through me as I scream his name .
He comes right after me before collapsing on top of me. Our bodies stay pressed together for several minutes. In these few precious moments, our bodies are one .
And I know now that he will hurt me. As soon as he gets up and goes to clean himself off, he will rip me apart, taking a small part of me with him that I can never get back. Because that was the best sex of my life. That’s how sex is supposed to be. And I know that I gave a small part of myself to him that made it so incredible. I just hope that, when he moves, it just leaves a small hole in my heart instead of the gaping hole that I’m afraid he will leave in his wake .
Heat creeps up my neck, waking me. I try to move, but I can’t. Killian’s body is heavy on top of mine. His stubble scratches against my chest when I try to move .
We fell asleep. I try to glance at a clock, but I don’t find one. How long have we been sleeping like this? I try to move, and I find that he is still buried inside me. Although he doesn’t fill me quite the same way he did before .
This can’t be happening. He was supposed to leave as soon as this was over. If anyone catches him leaving my room in the morning, we are going to be out of time to decide what we want to do. My grandfather will force us into getting married when that’s clearly not what either of us wants. So, why did Killian fall asleep on top of me then? If he doesn’t want to be with me, why is he still here ?
“Killian,” I whisper. I don’t know why I’m whispering. Maybe it’s because I’m ashamed of what we just did. I don’t sleep with strange men—although Killian isn’t really a stranger anymore. I don’t do this though. I’m a good girl. I don’t sleep with someone on the first date—except I just did .
“Killian,” I say louder .
He stirs slightly, but my voice isn’t enough to wake him .
“Killian,” I say even louder .
His eyes open wide, and his body jerks off of mine. We both wince at the loss we feel as soon as his body leaves mine. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I will not let the pain overtake rational thought. I will not .
“You need to go,” I say without opening my eyes .
I feel his hand against my cheek, brushing my hair off my face. “If that’s what you want,” he says softly .
I keep my eyes closed, afraid I will cry if I open them. I refuse to be the girl who cries after sex. I will not let that happen. I will prove to him that I can be just as heartless as him. I can sleep with a man without losing a bit of myself, without expecting more than one night .
“You need to go,” I say again .
