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“But can you really leave your brother? Can you really leave your life and everything behind to run away with me? To live a life of always hiding, always running, never being safe?”
I pull her back to me, threatening our safety with another kiss. I’m not sure that, once I start kissing her, I’ll be able to stop ever again. She draws me back in, promising that she doesn’t ever want to stop either.
“I’ll gladly give up everything for you. I love you, Nina. I’ve always loved you. Even when I wouldn’t allow myself to feel it, it was there. I love you. You are my obsession. You are the reason I’m living. I’d rather run and hide with you forever than live a life alone here. The only chance of ever being happy is with you.”
She grins and quickly kisses me again. “Good answer. I love you, too. I’ll run with you forever. It’s the only way I’ll ever be free.”
I kiss her one last time, and then we run. Hopefully, we won’t have to run forever. Matteo is going to be pissed that Nina chose me. That I’m abandoning him now. But he’ll soon forgive me. He’s the least of our worries. One day, we will have to stop running. We will have to face our enemies. But that day is far into the future. Right now, I will enjoy running. I’ll enjoy living for the first time in a long time. I’m free as long as I have Nina by my side. Forever.
38
Epilogue
Nina
I feel the emptiness. I don’t have to reach over in bed to know that Arlo isn’t there.
We’ve been running for a year, but it feels more like traveling. Like one long vacation that never ends. It’s wonderful. I love every second that Arlo and I get to spend together. I’m in love. I’m happy.
But it’s not enough.
Every day that passes makes me realize that more and more. That we can’t continue on like this. Arlo loves me, but he isn’t truly happy. He still has nightmares every night. He still thinks about his family every day. And as in love as we are, just existing together doesn’t give his life enough purpose. Not when he was used to a life far more exciting than what our life has been the last year.
I just don’t know how to bring purpose back into his life again.
I sit up and see Arlo sitting outside on the patio of the villa we are staying in.
I sigh. I already know what he is doing. Painting another one of his nightmares by moonlight.
I get out of bed and walk out to him.
“Can’t sleep again?” I ask.
He nods as he sits in his boxers behind an easel looking out over the ocean.
I walk behind him and put my arms around his bare chest, wishing that I could take away his nightmares like he takes away mine. I look at the picture he’s painting, expecting another horrible image of a person he feels guilty for killing, but it’s not. Instead, he’s painting a beautiful picture of us. Together. Happy.
I smile.
“You’re painting us?”
“Yes, I had a good dream.” He grabs my arms and brings me around until I’m sitting in his lap.
“Why don’t you sleep when you have good dreams?”
He grins. “Because this dream was so good that I was afraid I would forget it.”
I narrow my eyes to look at him, not sure I believe him. “Are you happy, really? I know this year has been hard for you. I know you don’t like running. I know you miss your brother and sister. I know you miss having a purpose.”
His smile disappears. “Is that what you think? That I’m not happy?”
I nod slowly.
He shakes his head. “Are you crazy? I’ve never been happier.”
“But you’re depressed. You still have nightmares almost every night. You are away from your family. How can you be happy?”
He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear as his other arm wraps tighter around me. “Because I have you. I love you, Nina. Yes, running has its downsides. The life that I used to live has consequences that I live with daily. But I wouldn’t give up the last year I’ve had with you for anything. I wouldn’t give up the future we will have together either.”
