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I try to give her space to decide what question she wants to ask, it’s not in my nature to not try to control her. She needs to ask me why I don’t kiss her. It would be a waste of a question, but then I can fuck her again. And hopefully again and again until she figures out the truth.
I put my hands in the pockets of my jeans to keep from obsessively wrapping my arms around her. But I don’t keep my distance. I stand practically on top of her as she looks out at the beautiful world below her that she is no longer a part of. I intently stare at her as she closes her eyes, just feeling the sun beaming down on her. I don’t know how she can find any pleasure in the world anymore. She has to hate it after what it’s done to her.
The wind starts blowing, and her hair gets caught in it, blowing wildly in front of her face. When it slows, I can’t help but tuck her hair behind her ear again.
She opens her eyes. Her eyes that were full of brightness a second ago have turned to a darkness of concern.
“Why haven’t you kissed me?” she says without hesitation.
I pause, waiting to make sure that is really the one question she wants to ask me. “Because kissing does nothing for me and means everything to you.”
She scrunches her nose as she stares at me.
“I don’t want you so that I can kiss you. I want you, so I can fuck you. That might seem harsh, but I don’t want you for the fairy tale. I’m not your savior. I’m not even a good guy. Good guys kiss the girls they are with. They bring them flowers, take them on dates, care for them. I do none of those things, so why would I do the first?”
She sighs. “What about the kiss means everything to me? Why wouldn’t you want to take my kisses from me if they mean so much to me and you want to own me?”
“I think you having one piece of yourself that I don’t steal means that you still have hope. And, when you have hope that you will escape, it makes the sex that much better.”
She frowns. “I think you are lying.”
“I don’t lie.”
She nods. “You don’t lie to me, only to yourself.”
“What?”
She shakes her head. “Why do you only call me Nina?”
“Because that’s your name. Why bother spending time coming up with something else?”
“Because you care about me. Your brother calls me beautiful, sweetheart, pretty. It’s not that hard to just say how you feel.”
“I do say how I feel. I just don’t feel much. And Matteo is a better man than me.”
“So, you don’t care about me?”
“Nope. Other than I want you alive to fuck, I don’t care.”
Nina faces forward again so that I can’t see her face. She’s mad; I’m sure of it.
“I told you that you would end up fucking me today. You wasted your question. You learned nothing new, even after I answered your follow up questions, they were all a waste.”
She crosses her arms as she looks at me with a grin that I wasn’t expecting. “What makes you think I learned nothing useful? I don’t think I wasted my question at all.”
I laugh. “You’re delusional if you think knowing why I won’t kiss you is helpful at all.”
She shrugs. “Maybe the game I’m playing is different than the game you are playing.”
I sigh and watch her as she starts walking back toward the house. “Where are you going?”
“To get my question answered by Matteo.”
I frown. She hasn’t asked Matteo her question yet even though it’s been two days since we fucked.
What has she been doing? Or has she fucked Matteo again since she fucked us both?
I stand frozen as I watch her skip happily back into the mansion like she doesn’t have a care in the world. I know what game she is playing. I know why she is so happy.
