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“Maybe.”
I shake my head. “Why would I let go of everything that you have done to me when you give me no confidence that this is even what you want?”
“Because we can’t keep doing this. Whatever is going on between us, it has to stop. We are destroying Lily and hurting our careers, all so that we can deny this sexual tension. If nothing else, at least maybe we should just fuck whatever this is out of our systems, and then we can move on and finally do our jobs.”
“Fucking you won’t get the time you cut my pigtails in kindergarten out of my system,” I say, stopping as I glare at him. “Fucking you won’t get the time you convinced my brother that girls were gross and wouldn’t let him talk to me for a year even though I needed him.” I take a step toward him as I let my anger through.
He doesn’t take a step back even though I’m more than likely going to slap him again.
“Fucking you won’t take away the time you shoved me off the playground and broke my arm.”
He stands frozen, taking it all. Every horrible thing he has ever done to me hits him.
“Fucking you won’t take away the time you said you would drive me home when it was freezing cold outside, and instead, slept with some girl while I had to walk home in a snowstorm without a coat.”
I let all the horrible things he’s ever done to me out. Every single one. Except one. I keep the worst for myself. If I told him, he would realize how much I cared about him when we were teenagers. If I tell him the worst thing that he’s ever done to me, then he might try to ask for forgiveness. I might let go of the pain and actually forgive him. And I can’t do that. He doesn’t deserve my forgiveness.
“Are you finished?”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Why? You want to do something else to hurt me?”
“No, I want to tell you how truly sorry I am. I was fucked up as a kid. I had my own problems to deal with, but rather than deal with them, I took them out on you. Can you forgive me for what I did as a kid?”
“Yes, but I can’t forgive you for what you’ve done as a man.”
He swallows and looks like I slapped him even though I didn’t.
“You’re right. You shouldn’t forgive me for hurting you now.”
I nod, hating how silky and deep his voice sounds when he speaks. Because, if I listen to his voice too long, I will do anything he says.
I look into his damn eyes before I realize that it’s a trap. His eyes are full of sincerity and lust. A deadly combination.
“What do you want, Victoria?”
And then he has to say my real name.
“Do you want me to let you have this job? Do you want me to go away and never see you again? Do you want me down on my knees, begging you for forgiveness for the rest of my life? What do you want?”
I bite my lip. I don’t know what I expected to happen, but I never expected this. I could ask him to let me have Lily as a client. It would make my career if I did. But I won’t. Unlike him, I want to win the job fair and square. I don’t want to know that my whole career was made because Carter let me have it.
“Kiss me,” I say.
His eyes search mine for just a second, as he’s not sure if he actually heard the words that fell from my lips.
“Fuck it out of me. Fuck away all the pain. All the sexual tension. Fuck it all away.”
8
Carter
Victoria just told me to fuck her.
It’s what I’ve been wanting to hear since the moment I saw her again. But, somehow, it feels like both the biggest mistake I could ever make and the best thing that I could ever do.
I gave her a chance to choose her career over me, and she chose me. She’s putting her trust in me. A man who has hurt her more than any other person on this planet. I could use this to finish her for good or make her mine forever.
Or I could just fuck her. No emotions. No promises of anything more. Give her the best sex of her life. That’s how I want her to remember me when this is all over. The best damn sex of her life. That’s what I can give her.
