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I slow because I know he will make a bigger scene if I don’t walk with him.
“We can’t do this. A random stranger from Lily’s office noticed you, and we are barely even inside the building. We will get caught if we go on a date.”
Carter stops in front of me. “You promised. One date. I will take you to the most hidden restaurant I can find. No one will know. Okay?”
I nod, hoping that something will happen between now and then that will not let me go on that date. Because I know, if I go, he’s going to be charming and wonderful and perfect. He’s going to buy me flowers and hold my hand. He’s going to tell me all the lovely reasons he likes me. He’s going to give me his jacket when I get cold and then turn into an animal who kisses me and then fucks me in the cab on the way home. And, after a date like that, I’m going to fall. Completely and fully in love with him because I’ve wanted him since we were kids. I’ve wanted nothing more than to make him fall desperately in love with me, but he was always with someone else.
I can’t let myself fall in love with him. Because, as much as I want to think that he has changed, I know he hasn’t. One day, he will flip the switch again and turn back into the monster I know he has hidden deep inside.
We walk upstairs to Lily’s office. I knock before entering. I walk in with Carter close behind.
Then, Lily attacks Carter.
Lily’s arms wrap around his neck as she launches at him. And then she presses her lips against his and kisses him. Not a chaste kiss. Not a thank you so much for saving my butt yesterday kiss. A real I want you right here, and I don’t care who is watching kiss.
My mouth falls open at the sight, but I quickly recover. I twirl my hair around my finger, trying to distract myself. I try to force my eyes away from the two of them kissing. But, even if I could manage to somehow tear my eyes away, I could never stop seeing the two of them together over and over in my head.
I knew that sleeping with Carter was going to result in agony. And I was right. I can tell by the look on Carter’s face that he is just as shocked as I am about the kiss, that this isn’t what he wants. But it doesn’t matter. This is our life now. He has to pretend to date Lily. That’s the job. And it’s going to be the worst pain I’ve ever felt, watching him with another woman. It doesn’t matter that it’s pretend to Carter. It’s clearly not pretend to Lily.
Carter slowly pushes her back from his lips, and he stares at her with wide eyes. He wipes his lips. “Um…it’s good to see you, too,” Carter says, backing up toward the door like he wants to run.
I want him to run, too. Forget about this stupid job and just run. I’ll chase after him. It can be just like when we were kids, and he chased me all over the playground. Except, this time, when I catch him, he won’t push me down. He’ll fuck me.
Lily’s face lights up. “It’s a very, very good day, Carter. The best day in fact.”
Carter rubs the back of his neck. “And why is it the best day?”
“Because I have the most amazing boyfriend ever.”
“I’m not your—”
A knock on the door stops Carter from speaking.
“Yes?” Lily asks.
“I have a DVD from last night for you,” says a small, petite woman when she pokes her head inside.
“Thank you,” Lily says, holding her hand out to take the DVD.
Before she begins to walk out of the room, the woman eyes Carter like he’s the most delicious man she’s ever seen. Lily walks over and takes his arm. She takes the arm of my man. I tightly grip my hands together to keep from attacking Lily and claiming Carter as my own. But it’s clear that Lily is just as jealous, except she’s jealous of a woman who wasn’t doing anything other than looking.
When the woman leaves, Lily walks over to the door and closes it. She glares at Carter, still ignoring that I’m even in the room.
“You can’t talk like that! There are plenty of people in this office who would head straight to the first reporter if given the chance. If we are going to do this, we have to make it believable. I get in trouble when I don’t.” She drapes her arm around Carter again. “Plus, I think, after you see this”—she holds up the DVD—“you are going to remember just how good we are together, and we won’t have to pretend anymore.”
My eyes widen. I glance over at Carter, giving him a this bitch is crazy look, as Lily fumbles with the DVD player.
I’ll handle it, Carter mouths to me.
I roll my eyes. There is no way he is going to figure a way out of this. Whatever I missed last night made Lily completely smitten with Carter. He was either too good of an actor or…I can’t think of the alternative. As much as I thought I could stop this before I had any true feelings for Carter, it’s impossible. I’ve had feelings since we were kids. Kissing Carter, letting him touch me, fuck me made my feelings that much stronger.
“There,” Lily says, proud of herself, as the video begins playing. She quickly fast-forwards through the part of the interview where she fell apart.
I should have let the bitch burn out there, I think as I keep my distance. I don’t want to see her pretend to be dating my boyfriend.
Boyfriend.
He’s not my boyfriend. Not even close. But, right now, I want nothing more than to walk across this room, grab his neck, and show Lily what a real kiss looks like between two people who actually care about each other.
