AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You’re going to be paying for a long time, you made a lot of mistakes when it came to Victoria.”
“I know. I’m just hoping that I can pay for them within the year. And I have to keep working for Lily. It’s the only way that I and, more importantly, Victoria keeps getting paid for the job that she did fixing Lily’s mistakes.”
I glance to the lobby where Lily is pacing on her phone. She will be back soon and who knows when I’ll get a chance to talk to Logan again face to face.
“How is she? I don’t need to know all of the details. I just need to know that she has more than enough money to take care of the family. And that she is happy.”
Logan rubs the back of his neck and I can see in his eyes that he wants to tell me something, but is not sure if I want to hear it.
“She’s happy.”
I stare at my glass of beer, watching the bubbles fizzle as I try to be good. She’s happy. I don’t need to know more.
“What do you want to tell me?” I ask, not looking up at him because I hate myself for asking about her.
“It’s not mine to tell. If you want to know more about Victoria, you’re going to have to ask her yourself.”
“Damn it, Logan! Just tell me. Tell me she’s dating someone else.” I grip the glass too tightly and watch as it crushes in my hand. Little pieces of glass stick to my hand along with the beer.
Logan shakes his head at me before he walks over and grabs a wet rag, tossing it to me to clean up the mess.
“Victoria isn’t going to want you if you are a jealous mess. You were the one that decided this was for the best. You decided that the only way to get her back was to put in the work. Then do it.
“And in the meantime, Victoria is going to live her life. She deserves to be happy. She takes care of all of us. She may be the youngest, but she somehow was always the one that was strong enough to deal with all of our crap. We wouldn’t be here without her.
“So do the work man, and when you are done, you’ll have Victoria’s forgiveness.”
“And her heart?” I ask, swallowing hard.
Logan shrugs. “You’ll either have it or you won’t. But either way, Victoria will be happy.”
“I need a napkin and a pen.”
Logan frowns as he moves down the bar and grabs me a napkin and a pen from his pocket and places them on the bar in front of me.
I start scribbling on it.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m starting at the beginning and writing an apology for every time I’ve ever hurt her.”
I stop writing and Logan snatches the napkin out of my hand and starts reading.
“I’m sorry for stealing your only barbie from you when we were little. It was mean. I was six and didn’t know better, but it still isn’t okay. I watched you cry and I didn’t give it back. I’m sorry,” Logan reads. He glances at me. “You really are starting at the beginning.”
I nod.
He flips the napkin over and I try to snatch it back before he reads the other side.
“I know you are too old for barbies now, although I’ll send one for Sailor to play with. But for you, I need you to do something for me. I miss kissing you, desperately. Your lips are what I dream of every night. Don’t let your luscious, fuckable lips go to waste. Kiss a stranger, or a lover. Kiss someone for me.”
Logan stares down at me when he finishes, completely silent. “You really love her, don’t you?”
I nod. “I think I’ve always loved her. I just didn’t understand how to love someone. I’m still not sure I do. My family taught me how to treat people like shit. And the only way I got out of the situation was by having a ruthless career that took down anyone and everyone in my path. Even Victoria.”
“Why a napkin?” Logan asks, offering me no comfort. He doesn’t say that I already know how to love, which only makes me realize that taking this time is my only chance at figuring out exactly how to love.
“Because it’s what I wrote on and gave her the night Lily announced our engagement on television. The night Victoria decided to get her revenge. I could write on paper, but writing on napkins lets her know that I’m thinking about her always. Even when I shouldn’t. Even when I’m just having a drink or grabbing a bite to eat. I’m not just sitting down to write a long note in order to try to win her back when it’s most convenient for me. I’m always thinking of her.” Always, forever, I’ll never stop.
