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She stands and walks slowly toward the front door, like if she walks slowly I might change my mind. She exits, and I think maybe she is leaving, rather than getting the recording. But a few minutes later, she returns with a computer in her hand.
She walks back next to me and opens the computer. She glances at Michi.
“I think I’m going to go for a walk down to town. Get us some nice wine to enjoy with our pasta tonight,” he says before walking out the front door.
Adela turns to me. “What do you want to see?”
“The night that five men came.”
She nods. She starts typing into the computer searching files, and then she clicks on a video.
She turns the computer back to me. “Do you want me to stay or give you some time?”
“You’ve already seen it?”
She nods. “I spent most of my time since Dante captured you monitoring you.”
“Why?”
“Because Caspian couldn’t. He wanted to make sure you were still okay.”
My heart hurts. How could he think I was still okay when he knew what Dante was doing to me? How could he wait so long to rescue me?
“It killed Caspian to leave you there. I know he hasn’t told you why yet. I’ve told him he needs to tell you why soon. I don’t know if he will, but it’s not my place to explain. Just know he had a reason, and it tormented him every hour he left you with that monster.”
Her words don’t make me think any better of Caspian.
“I don’t care if you stay or not.” It’s the truth. She’s already seen the horror. I’ve experienced it. Watching it can’t be worse than feeling it.
I turn the computer toward me so I can have a good view. And then I press play.
“I think I’ll stay,” Adela says softly, sitting next to me.
I don’t look at her. I can’t take my eyes off the completely broken version of myself lying in the room.
There is no audio. It’s a good thing, because I could probably hear my broken heart beating so weakly, if I weren’t sitting here right now I would think the woman on the v
ideo was about to die. I would have.
Dante enters with five men on his tail. All look strong and defiant. He makes a joke and they all chuckle as he kicks me hard. That part was real. Then a man with a similar build to Caspian steps forward. The man has a similar build and similar eyes. But this man is skinnier than Caspian. He’s weaker. He could pass as a distant cousin of Caspian, but he’s not him.
I watch as he kicks me and I feel the ache in my ribs. I watch as I’m dragged to the bed. It’s like I’m there, but I’m not. I’m floating in a cloud looking down at my naked and bruised body, helpless to save myself from the fate that awaits me.
I’m tied to the bed. And then the coward settles between my legs before knocking me out. He could see my need for revenge in my eyes. He knew I would come after him if I remembered what he did. So he tried to take away my memories.
But I will never forget his face. Not until I’ve killed him.
I continue watching. I watch each thrust, each grab of my breasts, each punch to the gut.
A tear escapes my eye as I watch. It’s painful and horrible, and exactly what I needed to remember Caspian isn’t much better. He wanted to do the same thing to me. He’s locking me up, keeping me from seeking my revenge.
My tears turn to flames fanning an invisible fire growing stronger as each second of the video passes. I watch each man climb on top of me and use my body like they use a piece of exercise equipment. Like I’m not human.
Finally, it’s Dante’s turn, but I don’t need to see what he does to me. I remember every second of him.
I close the computer. I’m not sure if I’m stronger or weaker for watching it.
“Stronger,” Adela says as I wipe the tears from my cheek on the back of my hand.
