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“Girl, you know that man would have died for Steve,” my best friend Tia said one night after I’d again refused to take Jake’s call.
“Because of that man, my Steve is dead!” I said bitterly.
“You know Steve trusted him with his life.”
“And look where it got him! I don’t want him anywhere near me or JR ever again.”
She gave me an angry pat. “Oh, so it’s all about what you want. Well, what about what JR wants and needs?”
“JR doesn’t want to see him either.”
“Girl, you are talking foolish and you know it. You know how JR feels about him and you know how Steve felt about him. I’m not going to sit here listening to this. You know in your heart that if there was anything that man could have done to save Steve, he would have. Or have you conveniently forgotten that he got shot three years ago because he jumped in front of a bullet meant for Steve?”
“So wh
at? It was just a scratch.”
“He was in the hospital a week!”
I stared at her with angry tears streaming down my cheeks. “Fine! But this time he let him get killed!”
“Girl, get a grip! Remember he and Steve were friends since high school. How do you think he’s feeling?”
I knew she was right, but I needed someone to hate. And at six-two and roughly 190 pounds, Jake made a nice-sized target. “So?”
She hugged me. “So? You know you and JR are all he has. He needs to be with you.”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Yes.” She gripped my hands. “You’ve kept him away for over four months. You think that’s what Steve would have wanted?”
That shook me because I knew it wasn’t. Steve had often told me that Jake was like the brother he’d never had. “I don’t know.”
“Tash, do the right thing.” Tia sighed, shaking her head. “If you’d talked to him just now, you would have heard how…I’m afraid for him. Call him to make sure he’s all right.”
“So now I’m supposed to be his keeper?”
“No. Just a friend. As he’s been yours and Steve’s for years. Don’t you think he needs a friend?”
“He has other friends.”
“None as close as you and Steve. You know that. Tash, the man sounded as if…you’d better call him. Tonight. Now.”
I shook my head. “I wouldn’t know what to say to him. The breach between us is too wide now.”
“Narrow it. Go see him.”
I thought of the things I’d said to him. Things I couldn’t take back. Things I didn’t want to take back. “I can’t leave JR alone.”
“Alone? So I’m nobody now?” She pulled me up from the sofa. “Go see him. Stay the night if you have to. I’ll stay with JR.”
Jake had a small rancher on the other side of town. I knew he was home when I arrived because his car was in the driveway and his house lights were on. But he didn’t respond to the bell.
I wanted to go home, but deep in my heart, I knew I’d treated him badly. And I did miss him. During the past six years, he’d had dinner with us at least twice a week. He’d stood in for Steve at any father-son event with JR that Steve couldn’t make. He’d sent me a dozen red roses on my birthday and sometimes for no reason at all. And he’d always provided a shoulder to cry on whenever Steve and I were fighting.
In fact, I’d once told Steve that when I needed to hear an endearment, I went to Jake. Steve’s idea of an endearment had been to call me “girl” in that deep, honeyed voice of his that I’d loved so much. Steve had often joked that Jake called me “honey” so often, he must think it’s my name.
I rang the bell again. When he still didn’t answer the door, I walked around the house and peeked in the window of his living room and nearly screamed. Jake was sprawled in a recliner with his gun in his hand, pointing toward his body.
