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He knew right then that it was over for them, and just the beginning for him and an unlikely woman who had brought back his passion.
Tomorrow, he would call her. He would try to make her understand that he was what she needed, because he needed her.
He was going to do everything he could to convince her that he was not about to try to change anything about her, but he’d be willing to change into anything she wanted him to be.
Sex might have started this, but it wouldn’t end there. There was so much more to her that he needed, and wanted, to know; much more. For the first time in a long time, he slept the uninterrupted sleep of a man who had found his loving destiny.
Control Freak
Candy Jackson
CHAPTER 1
I think I’m going out of my mind.
It’s been exactly one year, three months, two days, three hours, six minutes, and four seconds since I’ve felt the heat of a man. His lips on my lips, his legs tangled with mine, the weight of him lying on top of me, or my ass pressed against him, doggy-style.
“Shit, I’ve got to do something about this self-induced torture.”
Why I’d decided to abstain from sex is beyond me.
At first it made all the sense in the world. I mean, I’m military, a soldier, and I had the kind of job where mistakes could cost lives, careers, and sometimes the presidency, so for me, it was a no-brainer. I had to be focused on bringing in aircraft, early mornings, late evenings, and sometimes in the middle of the night. There was no room in my life for sex. Yet, at the rate I was going, an airplane was sure to fall from the sky and it would have my name written all over it.
The problem was, I was missing Terry.
Lieutenant Terry Williams had been my poison of choice, had been my freaky lover, and I had come really close to doing something extremely foolish. I was falling in love with him.
I had to transfer; had to get away. I couldn’t risk my career, my future, and my heart for a man who I knew would never marry me.
While lying with him on what is now known as “our last night together,” I listened as he told me, not in so many words, that we couldn’t be together. As we spooned in bed and while he made excuse after excuse on why he wouldn’t commit, I thanked God my back was to him so he couldn’t see the disappointment; so he couldn’t see my tears.
“Baby, you know how I fe
el about you; how we feel about each other.” At that moment Terry turned me to face him. I tried burying my face in the crook of his neck, but he wasn’t having it.
“Look at me, Danny. Our jobs are demanding. I’ll be transferring soon, and then what? I can’t have you losing control of all you’ve trained for. It’s bad enough we’re doing this.
“I could be discharged for seeing one of my students. You’re twenty-three years old, for heaven’s sake. I’m thirty-five. It would never work out. Surely you understand that?”
With his eyes beautiful and sincere, he penetrated my heart with his words and I ached even more.
We went on that night, making passionate love.
I cried when I came, and cried when he came inside me.
But the next day, I put in for an emergency transfer and took my air traffic controller skills all the way to Washington, D.C. I knew he wouldn’t look for me; he didn’t love me the way I loved him.
During the two weeks it took the military to approve and provide my paperwork, I avoided Terry. I asked for and received permission to teach a class off base and, whenever it was time to turn in for the evening, I bunked with a friend to avoid going to my room. I couldn’t chance seeing him; I didn’t want him to talk me into bed.
The cat and mouse game worked to my advantage. By the time I boarded the aircraft to Washington, D.C., I hadn’t had any contact with Terry. My heart ached, of course, but I needed to do it my way to keep him from pitying me. I felt like he thought I was a silly little girl.
• • •
Now, I’m sitting at my post with my mind full of nasty fantasies, wet panties, and my commanding officers are looking at me as though I have two heads.
One year, three months, two days, three hours, eight minutes, and forty seconds.
“Petty Officer Sanders.” The moment I heard that deep baritone voice, the one belonging to Captain Charles Tiller, I realized that my mind had been elsewhere. I immediately tried to snap out of the erotic scene that was floating around in my head, and pretended my attention had been on the unit flying in from Cuba.
