Page 51 of Nervous


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A moment later, my father appeared and had to take two steps back when he saw me. “Jonquinette?”

“You say that like it’s a question. Has it been so long that you don’t even recognize me?” I asked.

“Of course, I recognize you.” He embraced me, then pulled me inside. “Come on in, please.”

The little girl stood there swaying her hips. She was adorable with fudge-colored skin and big brown eyes. She had her shoulder-length hair in two pigtails tied with violet ribbons to match her short set.

“Jonquinette, this is Flower. Flower, this is your big sister, Jonquinette,” Daddy said, making a formal introduction.

I got the impression that Flower never knew of my existence. I couldn’t blame Daddy for not telling her. Since I had not responded to any of his letters, he had to assume that she would never meet me. She would have been confused to know that she had an older sister who was never around.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Flower,” I said, extending my hand, which she graciously accepted and gently shook.

Daddy sighed and looked at me. “I’ll explain everything.”

I told him, “You don’t owe me an explanation.”

We all migrated into his living room, which was very basic but neat. At least he hadn’t become a slob over the years. He had a tattered couch and loveseat set that had seen much better days, a scratched-up coffee table, and a new nineteen-inch television sitting on top of the original box by a window. It was hot and his air-conditioning unit in the window wasn’t working too efficiently. I immediately started sweating.

“Flower is a very pretty name,” I told the little half-sister that I never knew existed.

She blushed like it was

the biggest compliment she had ever had. “Thank you. My mother picked it out.”

“Well, she did an excellent job.” I surveyed the house. The dining-room table was bare and there were no pictures on any of the walls from what I could see; definitely no visible signs of a woman’s touch. I wanted to know if Daddy was remarried without coming out and directly inquiring about it, so I asked, “Is your mother here?”

“Oh, no.” Flower shook her head and hips simultaneously. “She doesn’t live here but she’s coming to pick me up Sunday night.”

Daddy cleared his throat. “Flower, why don’t you go get washed up for dinner.”

“Okay, Daddy.”

Flower pranced off and I could hear her little footsteps running up the stairs.

“No running in the house!” Daddy yelled after her.

I laughed. “Some things never change. You used to yell the same thing at me.”

He grinned. “That’s because you wouldn’t listen and ran through the house every single day.”

I picked up a department store sales paper from the coffee table and started fanning myself. “She’s adorable. How old is she?”

“Six.” He went over to the air conditioner and banged on it. “Sorry it’s so hot in here. I’m trying to save up to get central air but it’s not easy. Even with regular clients, it still isn’t easy making a good living in this backass town.”

“Well, Daddy, no one told you to give up being a computer programmer.”

He and I both sat down on the sofa.

“No,” he said. “They just told me to give up my whole damn family, which was the same thing as giving up my life.”

I could tell that he was still bitter about the divorce and wanted to say something like, “You made your own bed so lie in it.” But I didn’t. It wasn’t my objective to visit him and incite drama after so many years.

“I guess you neglected to mention her in your letters,” I said, getting back to Flower.

He sighed. “I didn’t know how to word it. I figured if I told you I had another daughter, I’d never get a response.”

I disagreed. “Actually, it probably would’ve been the exact opposite. If I’d known I had a little sister, I would’ve wanted to meet her.”

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