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“The greater love was to let you go, which I did when I left Cannon. I’ve lived without you for fifteen months. Though I gave in to my emotions on Saturday, I honestly can stay away from you a lifetime. I promise I can. One day you’ll thank me. Please take me home now.”
Without further talk she dashed back to the car and got inside. At this point her whole body was trembling in agony for the part she’d played in Jarod’s earthshaking decision. Because of her, he’d left the priesthood he loved. The pain of knowing it was her fault was too much—
In a few minutes he joined her. “Sydney? Look at me.”
She kept her head bowed. “I don’t want to. You’ll always be Father Kendall to me.”
“Nevertheless I’m no longer a priest. We finally have the freedom to talk. You can ask me anything you want.”
“I don’t dare.”
“That’s because you’re afraid.”
“It’s more than that—a priest doesn’t just leave because he’s been tempted by a woman.”
“Some do if they realize they can’t stay focused. When there’s no more joy in service, then it’s time to go.”
She shivered as if someone had just walked over her grave.
“As soon as I met you, I became like Jacob who wrestled with a dark angel. The agony had to stop.”
A cry of despair escaped her throat. “But you’re too fine a priest to leave. I saw how much the people love, even worship you. I’ve never known anyone to command such respect and admiration.
“I—I feel ill that our association has caused you to turn your back on the people you’ve loved.” Her head reared so she could look at him. “I know you love them!”
“Of course I do. I always will. A part of me will never forget that I was once Father Kendall. But there’s been another part of my body and soul which had lain dormant until you walked into my office. Your arrival into my world became a life changing experience for me. If you’re honest, you’ll admit you felt the same way.”
Heaven help her but she did—
A fire had been lit that first day when she’d accompanied Brenda to his office for counseling. Sydney had been the one to encourage her to seek out her own clergyman. Knowing the girl needed support, Sydney had volunteered to go with her to Brenda’s family priest.
When they’d walked in his office, Jarod had looked up. One glance at the striking priest she’d talked to on the phone prior to the appointment and she’d actually felt delicious pain.
That moment would always stay with her. She wiped the moisture off her cheeks. “How did you know I wasn’t married yet?”
He eyed her steadily. “It was something I felt in my gut, but I didn’t get it confirmed until two months ago when the secretary at Cannonball High School helped me track you down.”
She drew in a ragged breath. “How did she manage that?”
“I told her I needed her help to locate Brenda, and wondered if her former English teacher, Ms. Taylor, might still be in touch with her. You probably didn’t know Brenda’s family moved from Cannon after you left.
“To make a long story short, the secretary phoned the school district office and was given your parents’ phone number from your personal history card. She then phoned your mother who told her you’d become a park ranger and worked at Yellowstone.
“The secretary asked if you went by your married name, at which point your mother indicated you were still single.”
“I see.”
Jarod’s resourcefulness shouldn’t have surprised her. Even knowing it was wrong, a part of her thrilled to the knowledge that he’d gone to those lengths to learn her whereabouts. What was wrong with her?
“It’s been a long time since we last saw each other, Sydney. Long enough for another man to be in your life.”
The definite edge to his possessive tone sent another shiver racing up her spine.
“I considered marrying a man who works for the forest service.” She bowed her head. “But in the end I—”
“You couldn’t commit because of me,” he cut off the rest of her words with what sounded like a groan of satisfaction.
Since what he’d said was patently true, Sydney couldn’t deny it, yet she couldn’t believe any of this was happening.
