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he part she’d played in his decision?

Beset by new fears, she cried uncontrollably. What tormented her now was the knowledge that he intended to live in the world like any other normal man. It meant he’d meet other people, other women, any of whom would give everything they had to be his wife if they were lucky enough to be loved by him.

I want to live the rest of my life with you, Sydney. I want us to have children.

So what if he got her pregnant, then later on wrestled with his desire to be a priest again?

That part of my life is over.

He could say that now, but when he’d taken his vows, he’d meant to honor them forever, too.

How did she know that in a year or five years, he wouldn’t change his mind again and want to go back? Then she and their child would become the obstacle in his path to true happiness.

That would mean she was twice responsible for his pain. She would lose him twice. While she was still reeling with her own debilitating pain, she thought she heard a knock at the door.

She lifted her head from where she’d been lying in a crumpled heap to listen.

“Sydney?” came Jarod’s urgent voice.

She thought he’d gone a long time ago.

“I’ve been listening to you crying. Let me in, or I swear I’ll break this door down.”

CHAPTER FOUR

“PLEASE DON’T DO that!” One thing Sydney knew about Jarod. He would carry out his threat.

She leaped from the couch and hurried over to the door to open it, but her eyelids were so swollen, she could hardly see out of her eyes.

This time Jarod didn’t wait for her permission to come inside. After closing the door behind him, he turned to her with a forbidding expression.

“I promise not to come near you or touch you, but you’re not getting rid of me until you’ve at least heard me out.”

Jarod exerted such a powerful force, she was helpless to defy him any further.

“W-would you like some coffee first?”

“I’d love some, but I’ll make it.”

She could just imagine how ghastly she looked after her long crying jag. It was humiliating to realize he’d been outside the whole time, privy to her anguish.

“All right,” she murmured. “I’ll freshen up and be back in a minute.”

Once in her bedroom, she changed into jeans and a dark green cotton sweater, then she went in the bathroom to wash her face and brush her hair. After applying lipstick, she felt a little more prepared to face him.

When she went back to the living room, she found him standing there drinking from a mug. Hers was on the coffee table. She picked it up before sitting down in the over-stuffed chair next to the couch. While he eyed her movements, she tried her hardest to avoid his direct gaze.

“I was a man first, Sydney.”

She swallowed some of the hot liquid before answering him. “I’ve heard that a lot of priests have an affinity for the priesthood early in life,” she whispered.

“Nothing so romantic happened to me. The truth is, I come from a dysfunctional Long Island, New York, family and I don’t recall the last time any of them stepped inside a church.

“Until late into graduate school, I could never have imagined joining any church, let alone giving up women.”

The unexpected information shattered all Sydney’s preconceived notions concerning his path to the priesthood.

“Ever heard of Kendall Mills?”

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