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“I don’t know why the press loves me so much,” James said.
“Because you hang out with Nicholas Hunter, who by the way, is just as crazy as you. And then when that Charlie hung out with you guys...the press ate it up. They can’t get enough of you. And either can the people. So they concentrated on you because you were the fun one, and Robert was the boring one.” David removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes, then slumped over on the table. “James, I want what you want for your dad’s company. I’m pulling for you here. But this? Even I can’t put a good spin on this shit-storm.”
A stab of guilt hit me right in the gut.
James, on the other hand, still valiantly tried to rally, “It’s one photograph, David.”
“One is enough,” David said, tossing his glasses onto the paper. “The trouble is, you know that’s not true. Those damn reporters and their photos are like cockroaches. If you see one, there are dozens more behind it. You’ve been getting into trouble since you were nine years old. I suppose none of that mattered in the slightest when Ben was alive, but if you really want to be CEO, you can’t carry on like this. You just can’t.”
“I can do whatever the hell I want, Camper!” James yelled fiercely, waving a hand at the paper as if it had personally offended him. “We were trying to have sex, David. It’s not a crime, and we’re both consenting adults. I won’t stop living my life just so I can take over this damn company—”
“And what about Della?” David asked, jabbing a finger at my unflattering portrait in newsprint. “Are you willing to drag her through the mud with you? She has a promising career ahead of her, James, but that will never last if she’s seen falling out the top window of the opera houses with future CEOs halfway up her dress!”
“You mean genie pants.”
“You know what I mean!”
It was on that depressing note that we ended things. David left to give James time to think things over and to stop himself from wringing his neck, and I headed silently up to bed, very, very alone. With David coming over, it ruined our plans to get hot and heavy the second we stepped back inside.
I was sure James would eventually join me, and for what felt like hours, I kept my ear trained for any sound of him, waiting for him to push open the door, but he never showed. Lying there in the darkness, it was very hard not to blame myself.
What was his life like before he met me? I wondered, and only one answer came to mind: Perfect. He used to fly all over the world whenever he wanted, chasing his whims, without a single tether to hold him back, not a single real problem to cloud his clear, blue skies, nothing but endless horizons. His life was a dream, and now it’s a nightmare...all because of me.
I remembered the night we first met, how unencumbered he was, how whimsical and light, just a wayward soul who freely drifted to wherever the breeze carried him. I remember thinking he was magical, a man dizzy with happiness, always ready for his next adventure.
Then I pictured the man downstairs, the one who was shackled wit
h a sudden weight he didn’t really want and wasn’t prepared for. Now, James Cross was caught between a boardroom and a hard commitment, and neither had ever been in his plan. I couldn’t forget the way his eyes tightened when they took in that horrible headline, the almost imperceptible hardening of his mouth as his shoulders fell.
A man like James wasn’t meant for such things, for girlfriends and the burdens of a throne. If he ever did decide he had room in his life for a steady mistress, he would have to choose only one, Cross Enterprises or me. Worst of all, I think we both already knew which he was going to choose.
A rush of sadness welled inside me, but I found the strength to hold my tears at bay. Instead of sobbing and sniffling, I pulled on a bathrobe and tiptoed lightly down the stairs, then wandered the empty halls until I found him, still sitting at the kitchen table where I left him.
The man in front of me completely proved my point. He was just staring blankly out the window, with a half-empty glass of scotch held loosely in his hand.
“James?”
He startled slightly when I called his name but didn’t look over. Instead, he raised the alcohol to his lips and took another deep drink. “I saw what it did to Nick and Abby,” he said with no preamble, “trying to balance the good of a company against the rest of their lives.” His lips thinned into a hard line, and he shook his head slightly to the side. “I don’t want to do that to you. I won’t.”
My face paled, and my knees began to tremble with the finality of his tone. So that’s it then? He’s made his decision. This is the end for us. Congratulations, Cross. He’s all yours.
I understood why it had to happen. I really did. Still, looking at the man in front of me, it was suddenly easy to see what I’d been deliberately avoiding, easy to consider what I’d been dancing around for weeks, the one thing that could change everything. I was in love with him, and I wasn’t going down without a fight. “That doesn’t make a lick of sense, James,” I said as I sat down across from him and tentatively reached for his hand. “Nick and Abby are the happiest couple I know.”
His fingers tightened around the glass as he offered me a sad smile. “Now they are. You have no idea how much shit they went through to get there.” His face twisted with the painful memories. “Abby ran off to South America, and Nick almost died.” He bowed his head suddenly, spilling his dark hair into his eyes. “That was all because they had to please the damn board, trying to keep a legacy alive.”
“Yeah, but you know what?” I asked, raising my voice with sudden determination. “Abby said it was all worth it. When we were camping, she said everything was worth it in the end,” I said with a smile. At the time when she told me, I didn’t really understand the significance of the words, but now they did, because we were staring at the same problems, poised on the edge of that same fateful cliff.
James lifted his eyes and stared into mine for what felt like an eternity. When another wave of sadness crashed over him, he picked up the scotch and slid his hand away from mine. “I don’t know if it was.”
And that’s the ballgame.
I bowed my head and leaned back in my chair, feeling like I’d been stabbed right through the chest. A dreadful shiver swept over my skin as the world around me blurred with tears, but I was determined not to let them fall. I refused to guilt him over his decision, and I couldn’t possibly resent him for taking steps toward a successful, lucrative future. I knew he loved and admired his father, and I couldn’t fault him for choosing Ben Cross or his hard-earned company over me.
“I understand,” I said quietly as I pushed to my feet. “Cross Enterprises is your father’s legacy, James. No one can put a price on something like that.” A pair of tears slipped out in spite of my best efforts, and I turned my face quickly to the wall. I already missed him, already wondered what might have been. “I’ll just go away quietly, maybe transfer to another branch or—”
A sudden kiss silenced me, followed immediately by another.
My eyes fluttered open in a daze, and I looked up to see that magical twinkle in James’s. “What are you...” I started in confusion, staring into his eyes. “Why would you—”
