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“I’m going to get back to work right now.” Abbie says, “but call back whenever you need us. I think you need to have a chill, there’s so much you haven’t told us yet. I’m not going to ask for a detailed account though. I can tell you’re really upset.”
“Yes, funny how the secret is out but much of it is still a secret.” Rach mutters.
I grin and shake my head even though they can’t see it.
“Thank you, girls.”
They give me their goodbyes and I start googling. I can’t afford a lawyer. Even a cheap one. I’m going to have to work some of this shit out myself. The bookstore doesn’t make enough to pay my legal bills and even if it did, I couldn’t let my girls go broke for me.
I’m not finding much to help me, but I feel a boost of confidence that I’m at least looking. Instead of sitting there waiting to be hammered by life, I’m trying to dig myself out of this and I can’t help being just a bit proud of that.
Then there is a loud banging at the door.
I completely freak the fuck out. I stand up then sit down again. Should I just look chill? Answer questions with a deadpan calm?
I couldn’t do that even if I wanted to! Fuck! Before I know it, I’m hurling myself across the room and throwing myself behind the couch.
They are going to lock me up. I’m screwed. What’s going to happen to Alex? My heart starts beating so fast I can’t breathe. What the fuck will they do with him? This cant be happening.
I hear Natalie go over to the door and open it. I freeze behind the couch, waiting for big, important voices to state they are searching the premises for a criminal.
“Ashley?”
“Get out of my way.”
I peek over the couch in astonishment.
“Ashley, I know you think you’re important and all, but fuck. You can’t just barge into my space like—”
“Where is she?” Ashley snaps. “I know she’s got to be here. Where?”
Sandy comes charging in, hands up high. He starts advancing on Ashley.
“Oh, hell no. No way. You stay away. I’m not letting you near—”
“Will you both just shut up and tell me where she is?”
Her eyes rake the room. When they sweep past the couch her eyes stray past then come back, locking on to my eyes peeking over top.
“Jess.” She whispers.
“What did I just say?” Sandy thunders, putting himself between Ashley and the couch. “You leave her alone. You’ve done enough damage.”
Ashley crosses her arms and gives him a look that would make roses wither.
“Do you think I’m going to let you tell me what to do?” She takes a breath and lets it out so hard it could be the sound of a bull about to charge.
“Just hang on.” Natalie tries to get between them. “Everyone calm down. Jess needs—”
“Jess needs me!” Ashley yells. I think everyone in the room jumps at the same time. My heart leaps in my chest like it trying to go to her and I want to let it.
“I mean, she needs me to explain.” Ashley seems to get herself under control somewhat.
“I don’t think that’s wise.” Sandy narrows his eyes at her as they stand off. “Jess is very upset right now. I’m not sure that unburdening yourself is what Jess needs.”
I sit back down on the floor, putting my back against the couch. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what’s going on. Fuck.
“Jess!” Ashley calls out and the strain in her voice makes me shiver. There’s a desperation there, the sound of someone who’s always gotten what they want and now feels frightened they’ll be denied something they need.
