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“Yeah Helen?”
“Why did you think to call me?”
“I saw her leave with you that night. Also… She’s wearing your clothes.”
I can practically hear her winking and a laugh bursts out of me.
“I’m glad you’re finally happy, Helen.” Rachel sounds surprised. “We were all starting to think it wouldn’t happen for you. Now get that curvy butt down here and get your girl!”
I don’t need to be told twice. I’m practically flying out the door seconds later.
Twenty-Eight
Roxanne
I bolted down that hallway and down the stairs like a maniac. I went so hard on the stairs I’m amazed that I didn’t break my neck. I went past the doorman so fast he didn’t even have time to tip his hat.
Out on the street, I look up and down, not sure which way to go. I have no money, no backpack, just Helen’s fairly tame clothes. I’ve been in worse situations than this, I just have to get some work somewhere and once I’ve made a few bucks I can hop a bus.
I pick a direction and start walking. If I come across a bus terminal, I might be able to sneak on and stowaway to the next stop. Getting out of here, that’s the only thing that counts.
My expectations, my beautiful evening ruined, that’s enough to crush me. But knowing that Helen called the cops, that she thinks I could steal from her—these thoughts break me in a way I didn’t think possible.
This is why I don’t get involved. This is why I keep moving on. Not even Karen hurt me like this.
People brush past me and even though I’m walking slowly and almost crying, no one pays me any attention. I’m starting to get cold in just a blouse and slacks and that’s when I remember Dad’s jacket.
I stop suddenly and someone behind me swears. I start walking again straight away, because I’m not ready to just turn around and go back. I didn’t mind losing my pack too much or the few items in it, but I want my jacket back.
I really, really don’t want to face Helen. I don’t see how I can. Most of my life I’ve been well equipped for people to knife me from behind, this time I know I won’t go at her like an angry cat. No. Not this time.
I know I’ll cry, I’ll just dissolve. I’ll be weak and vulnerable in front of her and that is why I’m running.
I don’t want to be that weak.
I consider leaving town without Dad’s jacket, but I know I can’t do that. I suppose I could go into Helen’s work and try and see her there. It might encourage us both not to make a scene.
What will she do when she sees the stuff? I kind of wish I had busted through the door and thrown it in her face, creamy seafood sauce and all. She’ll find it soon enough. Then she’ll know that I’m not a thief.
Will she feel bad? Or will she just shrug and say, hey. That gutter rat was going to betray me sooner or later.
I thought what we had was real, but if she could really think I stole that money… When I got worried she would see I’d taken it all, I thought it would just make our fight that much worse. I never considered that she would believe me capable of crime.
I look around and I see that I’ve come too far not paying attention and now I have no idea where I am. Some of the buildings look slightly familiar and I follow the street, wondering where life is taking me now.
I rub my arms, thinking about Dad’s jacket. Thinking about Dad. He wanted me to be happy. I thought I was happy but now I really don’t know.
My feet stop and my inner compass twitches. I look up.
I’m at the Cozy Nook.
I just stare at the sign. I don’t know how I ended up here, I certainly didn’t plan to. I move away a few steps, leaning on a nearby light pole. No way am I even going to try
to get in. The odds of Helen coming down here are pretty slim, especially tonight.
I stand there for some time, wondering what I’m waiting for. I want to explain, I just don’t know how Helen’s feeling right now. I’m hoping that seeing the money returned and the things I bought have changed her mind, but I don’t know, do I? She might just be pissed that I took anything at all without asking.
Cars hum on their way by and I try not to look up. When a cab growls to a halt nearby, I don’t look up. It’s probably just one of the fancy girls from downstairs coming in late.
