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“Coal, my BJ … The pain, he had to be in so much pain. I only came back because I forgot my waist apron for tonight.” She hiccups. “If I had come home sooner or left later, my man could still be alive. God, why couldn’t I have been back in time?”
I feel her blood saturate my shirt, but I don’t care.
This woman has lived, fought, and damn near died for her man. Even losing her fingers for him. Yet, she isn’t crying about her fingers as she bawls in my arms. No, she is crying for her lover, begging God to bring BJ back to her.
Something changes in me in that moment. I can’t explain it, and I’m not sure I would if I could. Even if I didn’t put it into words, I know to the bottom of my soul that I will never be the same again.
~Paisley~
Somebody is watching me.
That’s what my senses are telling me.
I have goose bumps down my arms and the hair on the back of my neck is standing up as I walk up to my apartment building with the rest of the groceries I need for girls’ night tonight.
I look around the parking lot before I enter my building, but I don’t see anyone. It’s enough to give me a case of the willies.
Walking into my apartment, I try to blow the creepy feeling off. Perhaps it was a nosy neighbor or something. I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m not going to let it get to me anymore tonight. My girls are coming over, and I’m in desperate need of time with them after this week.
They have had a busy time trying to take care of another ol’ lady in the Regulators MC after the loss of her husband. Even though I don’t know Lisa, I sent over some crystals and a salt lamp to hopefully soothe some of her tension.
Morgan and Desirae didn’t share what happened, only telling me it was tragic, unexpected, and has put everyone on an emotional edge.
All of this made my mind and spirit worry for Coal. Worry is a strong emotion. Like anger and love, it has the power to manipulate our minds into the darkness rather than staying in the moment and the light.
My spirit hurts for Lisa, and I can only hope that she finds peace in time, and that her heart heals.
Morgan and Des will be here in about an hour, so I need to hurry and get these vegetables cut up for the veggie tray.
Turning on the radio, I listen to music as I shimmy from side to side while I cut veggies. Cucumbers and carrots will do wonders for a body, if only I could get my girls to realize they don’t need the cookies and popcorn.
An hour passes before I know it, and I’m just putting my homemade dressing in a bowl on the platter when a knock sounds at the door. Racing over, I look through the peephole and see Des, so I swing the door open to greet her. When I do, I see Morgan is standing right next to her.
“Hey, you two, come on in.” I hold the door open so they can walk through with their hands full. “What did you two bring this time?”
Morgan holds up a bottle of wine with a big smile on her face. “I know it’s not your home brew, but it is organic and local. Des and I decided this was going to be a fully loaded girls’ night. I think we all need it.”
“I won’t argue with that,” I grumble under my breath, thinking of whoever it is that’s watching me. In fact, with my door open, I feel it again. I feel vulnerable in a way I haven’t felt in a very long time.
Morgan and Des are looking at me funny, so I change the subject. “How is Lisa doing?”
“Better than I would be if something happened to Ice.” Morgan gives honestly.
“Me too,” Des adds and the air becomes thick with sadness.
“What are we watching tonight?” I ask trying to refocus the energy.
A mischievous grin spreads across Morgan’s face. “I heard about your trouble with that guy at the gym, so I have the perfect movie for you tonight.” She reaches into her purse and pulls out a DVD like she’s a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat. “Tada! How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days!”
“Oooooo … Matthew McConaughey. I definitely wouldn’t want to lose him if I had him in my bed. And I sure as hell would need more than ten days.”
Des laughs. “You and I both, girl. But don’t tell Hammer I said that. He’ll get all puffy-chested like a peacock and feel the need to remind me why I only need him.”
