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The water runs cold, and I realize I’ve been in the shower for too long. I step out onto the small blue mat that looks old and threadbare. I grab a towel and dry myself before walking into the bedroom naked. The cool breeze picks up and causes me to shiver.
Once I’m dressed, I slide into bed and stare up at the ceiling. My eyes flutter, and exhaustion hits me. I allow sleep to drag me under.
Something awakens me. A sound. A soft voice. And I’m sure I’m not alone, but when I open my eyes, I am. It’s dark out. I push off the bed and pad over to the open window. The breeze turns into a howling wind, causing the curtains to billow, and the scent of jasmine hits my nose. A memory slams into me painfully as I recall the boy I loved a long time ago.
“Mara, you’re the prettiest girl here.” Archer’s voice is rough with emotion. We’re not meant to be here. If they found us, we’d be whipped. He leans in, his lips soft against the sensitive skin of my cheek. I’ve just turned sixteen, and I’ve had a crush on him since I first saw him at the tender age of thirteen. At the time, I didn’t know it would blossom into something so real, so fierce, but when Archer looks at me, I feel like time stands still, and the only thing that exists are him and me.
“You always say that, but you know there are so many other girls here. They’re also pretty. Also . . . I don’t know if I’m worthy of your attention.”
I’m not sure why I push him away. Perhaps I’m scared he’ll leave me. Like my parents did. They told me they loved me, but in the end, I wasn’t good enough. It’s been four years since I walked into this place. I thought it was my salvation, but I slowly learned it’s my damnation. All the children here are toys in a sick game the adults who are meant to care for us play.
“I won’t let them hurt you, Dollface. I swear.” He always promises. Every day, he says the same words, but I can’t bring myself to believe them. Everyone leaves. It’s part of life. Whether they die or they’re taken from you, ultimately, you’re alone.
“Arch, just stop. I . . .” My words falter when I meet those eyes, the color of blue chalk. Sometimes they’re the color of the ocean, and sometimes, they’re the color of a stormy sky—gray steel with thundering emotions dancing in them, and I wonder if I’ll be swept away in the blizzard. The jasmine flower Archer brought me twists between my fingers as I nervously twirl it.
“I’m not asking for promises. I’m not asking for forever, baby.”
Nodding, I sit back and glance up at the stars. “They’re all sitting up there, looking down at us wondering why the hell we’re here. Why do we stay when they treat us the way they do?”
“Because we can’t leave until we reach eighteen.”
“Why? Who says we have to sit here taking the beatings? It can’t be right. How can people, grown-ups, take children into care when they’re hurting us?” My words hang heavily in the night sky. I’ve seen what happens in the cellars of the house. I’ve seen the bruises, the cuts, and I’ve experienced them too.
I’m afraid that I’ve now hit a certain age that there are worse things they’ll do to me. To us. Things I’d rather not think about. Deep down, I know what else goes on, but in my mind, I push it aside. I hide it in the depths where I can shut it away with the other things I’ve seen.
“Look at me.” He always speaks with conviction. Giving me orders I want to obey. So, I do. Meeting those steel eyes in the darkness. I feel the tingle in my core. It’s been happening every time we’re close. When he touches me. When his lips find mine. That ache, that ever-present need, is there, and it’s only for him. “We’ll get out. I swear.”
I nod. It’s the only thing I can do. Not because I don’t want to believe him, but because I can’t see a future. When I try, there’s nothing but a black hole.
“We will.”
A shrill ring rips me from the memory. My phone. Scrambling for it in the mountain of blankets and sheets, I grab the offending device from the bed and swipe my finger across the screen.
“Buttercup.” The deep rumble of Hunter comes from the speaker, reminding me how long it will be before I’m able to have him inside me again.
Even though we’re not a couple, I still enjoy the attention he gives.
“Missing me already, Hunt?”
A chuckle, low and gravelly, travels through the line and straight to my core. “Not just yet. I’ve got information for you.” Glancing at my watch, I notice it’s three in the morning.
