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“I’m working on something really exciting!” I slipped my headphones off. “I’m editing a nail tutorial I made. And then I’m going to upload it to YouTube.”
“Oh?” He pushed himself up again and came over. It took a lot of effort, so he was genuinely interested. “Is this a part of your plan to jumpstart your career?”
“I don’t know. Maybe? I’m not pinning too many hopes on this. It’s good enough as a hobby.” I made sure my project saved and close my laptop. “But you can’t see it yet. It’s not finished.”
“I’m so glad you’ve found something to do. I’ve been a little worried about you,” he admitted.
I stood and let him have my seat. “It is pretty weird to be jobless. I guess I used to work so much, I didn’t really know what to do with my free time. I hope I haven’t been driving you crazy.”
“Not at all. I think we both have the same problem. We have no interests outside of work.” He made a face. “That’s a bit sad, isn’t it?”
“We have interests outside of work. We just can’t indulge them right now,” I reminded him. My gaze fell on the video camera on its tripod. “And about those... I couldn’t help but notice that this camera was in with all your sex gear. And I gotta ask.”
“No. I don’t have any video saved anywhere.” He sounded disappointed by that. “Elizabeth asked me to delete all of it when we got engaged.”
“You didn’t want to?”
“No, I didn’t,” he admitted. “I’m sure it sounds selfish of me. Adulterous, even. But I had some very happy memories recorded.”
“Knowing what I know about you, I guess I can see why she felt threatened. I mean, she wasn’t into everything you were into. Maybe she was worried she wasn’t fulfilling all of your needs?” I shrugged. “Honestly, I didn’t like the idea of you looking at past conquests, either. I would always wonder if you were sorry you weren’t still with those partners.”
“Which is why I deleted them when Elizabeth asked.” His expression brightened. “But when I’m healthy again, perhaps we can rebuild my vast archive together.”
“Vast?” I raised an eyebrow.
He laughed. “I’m vain. I won’t apologize for it. I’m pretty fantastic and I look good on camera. I may have missed my true calling in life.”
“You know...” I hesitated to even bring it up, but I couldn’t let it slip past his notice. “You just said, ‘when’ you get healthy again. Not ‘if’.”
“I’ve been working on that with Terry.” He looked down at his hands. “I think I’m going to lose this fingernail.”
I wanted to say, “Gross,” but I settled on “Poor baby,” and leaned down to kiss his forehead.
“I’m trying to stay positive. I think I’m doing a decent job of it, considering I’m falling quite literally to pieces.”
I knelt on the floor in front of the chair and leaned my head on his knees. When I got a chance to be near him lately, I took it. Some days, he was so hot or clammy or just plain uncomfortable that I couldn’t even hug him. “But you haven’t lost your hair yet, that’s a bonus, right? Dr. Grant said you’d lose it in two weeks, and you’re about to go through the third round of this junk.”
“I’ll almost certainly loose it during the high dose for the transplant.” He reached up to touch it. “I am not going to look good bald.”
“You always look good to me.” But I had to admit to myself that I couldn’t exactly picture it in my head. I guess I would find out when it happened. “And you can trust me, because I’m a former assistant beauty editor for Porteras.”
And that reminded me.
“Um... do you have a second to talk business?”
He hesistated. “What kind of business? You know I can’t employ you at Elwood and Stern, Valerie would have me ousted.”
Ugh. Valerie. “That isn’t what I was asking. India Vaughn has a personal beauty Tumblr. And when I left Porteras, she told me she might help me in the future, if she could. I was wondering if you’d be okay with my submitting my videos to her - not to be connected to Porteras in any way.”
I’d expected him to answer immediately in the affirmative. To be enthusiastic about the prospect, even. But it took him a moment to consider. “I’m not sure I’m entirely comfortable with that. India shouldn’t be helping someone who was fired from the company for the reason you were.”
“The upside is, at least you know I’ve burned all my bridges in the industry, so I can’t harm your company.” I was surprised and a little hurt by Neil’s distrust. I couldn’t tell if it was me or India he felt dodgy about.
He regarded me for a long moment. “As long as it is made clear that her extracurricular blogging is not connected to or endorsed by Porteras, I don’t see what the harm could be.”
