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“Get in here now.” I throw back the sheets. She wavers, but crawls to her side of the bed. I follow and haul her to lie across me, placing her cheek on the star. My fingers link with hers, resting on my chest.
“It was a dickhead move, completely unacceptable. My pride was wounded, not just because of you but because I didn’t see it happening around me. When the nightmares started, I went straight to my PTSD counselor. He suggested the trip, and also that I take the two weeks away to distance myself from our situation.
“Because of my anger, I agreed. But as the days went on, and with each cemetery we visited, I focused on myself. I know now how selfish it was.”
“It wasn’t selfish, Robbie. I’m glad you took that trip with two of your best friends. That’s the way it should be.”
“Yeah, babe, but I didn’t realize until last night how badly I fucked up. It never crossed my mind you’d move out and think we were over. I love you more than anything, and I lost sight of that. Thinking about what you’ve been going through fills me with guilt.”
“It wasn’t only you. Everyone was hurt and angry. I understood that, but when my family cut me out and you left, something in me shattered.”
“I never understood exactly the anguish Declan Collins went through until you opened the door this morning. Seeing you in so much pain ripped my heart apart.”
“I know that feeling well,” she whispers. “That being said, I won’t put myself in the position again. I realized that my life has been about making everyone around me happy. For once, I’m going to concentrate on myself.”
Her tone scares me. “What does that mean?”
“It means, your reaction and subsequent actions hurt me deep. I’m human and you treated me terrible.”
“You will never know how sorry I am.” I roll her over and pin her underneath me. Her eyes grow wide as she pushes against me.
“Please, stop fighting. Let me say this. I was an absolute fool. Nothing will ever take away the hurt, but I’m going to make this right.
“My apology doesn’t cover the depth of my regret. I missed you from the day I drove away, even though I kept my distance. Every night, I’d look at pictures of you on my phone, and my heart ached for you. There was an emptiness there that only you can fill. It was an asshole move to cut you out, to leave, thinking things would be fine when I returned. You are too good for a dickhead like me. Anything in this world you want, and I mean anything, you’ll get. Ember Walker, you have become my life. Please forgive me.”
Her lip quivers when she finally speaks. “It hurt when Serena and Natalie purposely cut me down. It hurt when my dad went to jail. It even hurt when I learned Brad used me. But when you left, it killed me. I’m not sure I want to be in that position again.”
Her words hit me deep, and I try to stop the emotions swimming in my mind. Tears threaten as my throat closes. I haven’t cried in years. Not when my friends died, not when I almost lost my leg, not when my sister was kidnapped, nothing… but damn if this incredible woman makes me want to bawl like a baby. Our eyes meet, and I pray silently that I can change her mind.
“Did I fuck this up beyond repair?”
“I don’t know. Can you promise to never leave again when things are heated?”
“Without a shadow of a doubt. You are now, and will always be, my priority.”
This is a promise I can keep until my last dying breath. Never again will Ember Walker experience pain because of me. If she gives me another chance, I’ll lay my heart in her hands, where it belongs.
Her small hand cups my chin and moves slowly to my cheek.
“You gonna be able to move beyond this, knowing I was protecting you?”
I nod and lean my face into her small hand. She owns me. The last two weeks of closure mean nothing if she doesn’t forgive me.
“Robbie, I forgive you.”
I let out a breath and squeeze her tight, scared to let go. The gravity of almost losing her hits me hard and a chill run down my spine. We sit in silence a few minutes until she starts to squirm, trying to move away.
“Robbie, I can’t breath and I’m starting to sweat.”
I move back an inch but don’t let her go. She scans my face and starts to speak, but I cut her off.
“Give me this, I need you close. I’m terrified if I let you go you’ll realize what a dick I am and walk out the door.”
Her next words break my heart and repair my soul at exactly the same time.
“For weeks, I begged everyone around me to understand my place in all the mess going on. It was lonely and I had a lot of time to reflect. During that time, my body and mind mourned your absence. But now, there’s no more room for the anger or bitterness. What kind of hypocrite would I be if I spent all this time asking for forgiveness, but couldn’t give it myself?
“I told you the first time you showed up at my house with lunch that I’m not like most girls. Holding a grudge isn’t my style. I mean it, Robbie, I forgive you.”
