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I stare out the window in Robbie’s childhood room and watch the activity in the back yard. Men and women scramble around, finishing the last minute touches. The whole property has been transformed into a magical wonderland. In a few short hours, I’ll be Ember Hayes, and we’ll be celebrating with all the people we love.
The day after our engagement party, we set our wedding date for April twenty-sixth. Jenna went into planning overload, convinced she couldn’t pull off a wedding with our timeline. After a week, Robbie and I sat her down and told her what we wanted.
A small ceremony in a quaint little chapel in Franklin, and a reception at their house. Her eyes filled with tears as I explained how much I loved her and James’s home. Their backyard was perfect for a celebration. Also, we could protect our family. Sayge was a huge name in the music industry now. There was a good chance that any venue we chose would be swarmed with rabid fans. Plus, with the birth of the twins, we could arrange for a babysitter to help out, so the babies would be close. At the mention of the babies, she was convinced.
I tried endlessly to get Robbie to actively participate in the planning, but he had no opinions at all. He repeatedly told me, “The only real thing that matters is you, walking down the aisle to marry me. You and me, babe. I’m still considering Vegas.”
Outside of helping choose the menu and the cake, he was pretty invisible. So now I watch as months of planning comes to life in the Hayes’s backyard.
There’s a quick knock at the door before Chloe comes in carrying a garment bag with my dress. Butterflies flutter excitedly in my stomach. She and I are the only two people that have seen the actual gown. The sketches didn’t do it justice. We worked endlessly on bringing it to life, and I contacted an old classmate for help with the custom beading. It turned out perfect.
“Just a warning, I don’t think Robbie’s doing too well with the whole ‘not seeing the bride until the wedding’ thing. They’ve caught him twice, trying to come up here.”
“I feel the same.”
Her eyes soften and glow when they meet mine. “Are you about ready to get dressed?”
“There’s one thing I need to do first, and I was hoping you’d do it with me.”
“Anything.”
I walk to my bag and pull out the crumpled envelope from so many months ago. Chloe’s face goes slightly pale as she figures out what it is.
“Little Star, are you sure this is a good idea? Today’s your day. Natalie doesn’t deserve to even be in you head right now.”
“She’s not really- at least, not in the way you’re thinking. I’ve won. Today is another new beginning for me, and she can’t touch it. She could come rip-roaring through the door, and everyone in this house would jump to protect me.”
“So why bring out the letter now?” she questions.
“I want you to read it with me.”
“You sure?”
“Absolutely.”
I open the envelope with firm hands and unfold the single page. Chloe links her fingers with mine as we read the letter silently.
Ember,
I’m not sure where to start this letter, because there are so many thoughts running through my mind. This is supposed to be a letter to apologize for all the terrible things I’ve done, but an apology doesn’t seem like enough.
The night I almost overdosed was the final wake-up call for me. Even through my hallucinations, the panic on Dad’s face when I mentioned you is burned in my brain. Never before has he looked so scared.
Then memories of growing up consumed me for days. Every single one of them was about you. You have always been so loved, Ember, and now I know that is what I was jealous of. Grandma and Grandpa, Dad, Aunt Chloe, Cruz— everyone adored you. I was so envious I couldn’t see straight. All those years, all the awful things, all the pain I caused was because I wanted to be you.
Dad cut me off, and the anger he has toward me is justified. Out of respect for him and you, this will be the last you will hear from me.
I’ve been in intense therapy with a new counselor. She’s brutal and sees through all my bullshit, so I’ve decided to try to tell you exactly how I feel.
I’m sorry for hurting you as we grew up.
I’m sorry for sleeping with your boyfriends.
I’m sorry for chasing away all your friends.
I’m sorry for the part I played in sending Dad to prison.
I’m sorry for coercing you into sleeping with Brad.
