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When Max was there with another load of lumber, he pitched in helping me frame an interior space while my smoker was on his break. He was talking about the baby and how sweet Sadie was with him. It was good to see him happy, even if today it irritated the shit out of me. I went and drank another coke, hoping it would improve my energy level. I just felt wiped out.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. I just didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“Hot date?” he teased.
“No. Haven’t had one of those in a while,” I said ruefully.
“Have you lost your mojo?” he asked.
“No one says mojo anymore, Max. You’re old,” I said.
“That’s dodging the question. Are you saying you’re too old to chase after young women in bars?”
“They chase me, bro. A little blonde came onto me at the bar the other night.”
“So you got your mojo back?’
“Stop saying mojo. I’m begging you. I turned her down. I don’t know if she moved on to another warm body sitting at the bar or what. Something about her just turned me off.”
“Bad breath?”
“What? No. Why?”
“You said something turned you off. I was just guessing,” he smirked.
“What’s that look for?”
“Nothing,” he said.
About that time, his wife Rachel came walking across the job site with a couple of bags.
“I brought you boys some lunch. Thought my man could use a break,” she said.
He kissed her and they grinned at each other in a gooey way that would’ve made me gag if it weren’t for the fact that Rachel was the best thing for Max and Sadie. She had made him so happy, even before the baby came along. So, in the interest of being happy for my best friend, I didn’t make retching sounds or tell them to get a room.
“How are you, Noah? Everything okay?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’m keeping busy.”
“Are you sure everything’s okay with you?” she pressed.
“Why?”
“I just wondered. A few of your guys have been down at the diner lately saying you had a stick up your butt about something. I thought I’d do the friendly thing and ask how you were.”
“Really?” I asked, taken aback.
Sure I’d been a little cranky lately. I was out of sorts over Nicole, I didn’t deny it. I just didn’t want to discuss it with anyone. Partly because of the fact we worked together so there was the problem of it impacting her career, and partly because I didn’t like to talk about personal crap. I shook my head.
“No, everything’s fine. Maybe a little stressed out over this job is all. But I do—I mean this, Rach, I appreciate you telling me that my crew has noticed I’ve been in a bad mood. They deserve better than the way I’ve been acting, and much as I hate to be wrong, I owe them an apology.”
“Anytime, Noah. Always glad to tell people when they’re being assholes. It’s just one of the services my diner provides,” she smiled.
“Thanks for the food, baby. I’ll see you at home,” Max said, never taking his eyes off her.
They whispered a little and I turned my attention back to the job at hand. Really though, I was preoccupied with what Rachel had said. My workers were having a hard time on the job because of my mood. That wasn’t okay, and I had to do better. I needed to get my shit together and get my behavior under control.
I should’ve realized when I was short with Jeff earlier and didn’t even know about his divorce that I wasn’t tuned in to my crew the way I should’ve been. I was usually up to date on everything going on in their lives. It was good for the team, and it was good for them to know that what was important to them mattered to me. I knew their favorite sports teams and beer brands and everything. Somehow, I’d let that fall by the wayside and become self-centered. It had to stop. I’d handle it, work on crew morale and make it clear to them that I knew I’d made mistakes and would take care of business.
At the end of the shift, I got them together for a minute. I took off my hat and felt awkward about where to start.
“Listen,” I said. “I won’t keep you long. I know you have places to be. Tomorrow we’re going to the diner for a long lunch, on me. I owe you all an apology. I’ve had my head up my ass lately over some personal stuff, and I haven’t been paying attention like I should have. I know I’ve taken that out on some of you and it stops now. I value every single one of you, and you deserve better than the way I’ve been acting. So as of now, I’m getting my shit together and we’re going to do this job better than ever. You’ll have my full attention at lunch to tell me anything that’s bothering you including about the way I’ve been acting. I’m behind on some things that are going on in your lives and I want to catch up with you. So, long story short, I’m sorry, I’ll do better.”
