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Now I knew someone was watching me, watching us. They probably knew her car was here, that she’d come running to me. The fact was, I liked that Nicole had run to me with her problem, with her fear and guilt. I wanted to be that person for her, that man.
“This isn’t your fault,” I told her.
“Yeah, it is. I’m the one who couldn’t stay away from you, and I was the one who slept with you. Nobody tricked me, nobody made me do it. I wanted to, even though it was reckless and stupid.”
“You’re allowed to have a life outside that office.”
“We did it in my office.”
“Okay, bad choice of words,” I said. She dropped her head against my arm, but I think she might have smiled.
“I knew better. I never get involved with coworkers or subordinates or—really anyone. I haven’t been with that many guys. I’ve been all about my career. So when I lose my head over one, it had to be you.”
“I can’t help it if I’m irresistible, Nic,” I tried to tease.
“I could’ve stopped myself at any point. I should’ve thought that having you walk me to my car was dumb. It was right out in the open. And we were kissing.”
“If you hadn’t stopped me, it would’ve been more than kissing and you know it. I would’ve pulled you into the car.”
“You really think I would’ve hooked up in a backseat with you like it was high school?” she asked dubiously.
“Yeah, I think you would have. If you were pretty sure we wouldn’t get caught.” I smiled at her archly.
“You’re so egotistical.”
“Yeah, I’m also not wrong,” I said. She covered her face with her hands. I rubbed her back for a second, just soothing her. This was really hard for her, and I just wanted to punish everyone who had upset her.
“I’m going to take care of this. Don’t worry,” I said.
“What are you going to do? Tell the mayor to stop picking on me? This isn’t a playground, Noah. It’s real life and we’re adults. I’m going to be investigated for trading municipal contracts for sexual favors. Even if the ruling goes in my favor, it’s going to smear my reputation. There’ll be a scandal. The verdict will be a footnote. It’ll always be, ‘scandal-plagued city planner or the city planner who was embroiled in a sex scandal last year when she allegedly awarded contract bids to a builder who was providing her with sex acts in a shocking quid pro quo…’”
“You should write tabloid headlines. You’d be good at it,” I said. “Stop worrying. It’s going to be okay. You didn’t do anything wrong, so there’s no evidence against you.”
“Right. Because it’s always fair? I don’t think so. Whoever wants to target me can make up emails or something saying that I demanded sexual satisfaction from all the bidders, and you were the only one to whore yourself for the job.”
“If they want to release that kind of crap, I’d be happy to make up something about how the others tried, but their tiny dicks just couldn’t measure up.”
“Ugh, leave it to you to make this about bragging rights for your dick,” she groaned.
“No, I mean anyone who is in on this won’t want to be compared unfavorable to the endowment of another job candidate. If it’s Forrester, he won’t want us talking about how he had such a terrible time just trying to get it up that you told him to forget it. Because he was impotent and poorly endowed and also a failure.”
“I am not supporting nay claims that I harassed or assaulted applicants just so you can make fun of Ray Forrester. The allegation alone is a career-ender for me. Why did I do this to myself?” she asked.
“I think I was the one doing it to you which is the whole point. But he only knows we kissed one time. I can take care of this. No problem.”
“Are you going to beat someone up?” she asked suspiciously.
“Not unless I have to.”
“I don’t like this,” she said, “please.
“I protect what’s mine.”
I didn’t know why in hell I said that to her, but it slipped out and it felt right, so I didn’t bother taking it back.
“Nothing happened between us before I got that bid,” I said. “And I’m going to clear this up.”
I wasn’t going to let her fight this battle alone. That I was going to protect what was mine.
30
Nicole
After I went home, I’d tossed and turned, unable to sleep. My career was hanging in the balance. I’d gone to Noah for comfort and help. He’d called me ‘his’, and it was all I thought about. That and orange juice. I was drinking a ton of orange juice lately. Apparently, the baby was craving vitamin C.
The weight of that secret was tearing me up, and I wanted to be with Noah, but he deserved to know the truth. If it came out now that I was pregnant with his child, it would ruin any chances I had of a ruling going in my favor on the corruption investigation. The baby would be seen as proof that I’d been having sex with a contract employee. It looked bad, and there was no proof I hadn’t engaged in a sexual relationship with Noah before he got the bid. I had to keep this to myself a little while longer. It was killing me though. I wanted to tell him, wanted to get it over with and know how he’d react even if he hated me. I didn’t have room in my heart for uncertainty now. I loved my baby so much, an hiding my pregnancy felt wrong.
