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I hold her hand and she watches me through her thick lashes, eyes heavy with sleep.
"Stay with me until I fall asleep?" she whispers, and I nod.
11
Nicoletta
By the time I wake up, Ryder is long gone from my bedroom. All that's left is the open window and the curtains billowing in the breeze, making me wonder whether his visit in my chambers was just a wishful dream.
Today, Papa will arrive to celebrate my birthday. Yesterday was the first time in my eighteen years that I spent my birthday without my father. At first, I was nervous, dreading being without him and making the smallest mistake that could prove to be fatal for us. But it's been a long time since I started playing this role, and Papa has taught me well.
The dinner went off without a hitch – and without Adrian. He ran off after his captive girl as if she was the only one that mattered to him and not me, not at all. It's hard not to get jealous when I think of Marzia. She's so beautiful, captivating and seems much more confident than I'll ever be. It's hard to compare myself to her because I know I can never measure up, and my fiancé seems to agree since he spends every free moment with her instead of his betrothed.
As I get ready that morning, I try to get excited for Papa's upcoming visit. I want to see him, but in a way, I'm also dreading it. I've had much more freedom here than I usually would at the villa, and I know Papa wouldn't agree with it. He wants to keep me under lock and key where nothing can happen to me at all.
I stroke Tiger's fur and wonder what Papa will say when he finds out I have a kitten. Will he recognize the cats from our villa? I know this won't please him – he always told me not to get attached to anything or anyone, least of all a useless animal as he called them when I was younger.
Sometimes I wonder why Papa is so cruel to me. Of course, some of it is because of the secret we both work hard to hide. But the other reason... could it be because Papa doesn't care for me at all? Could he really be deceitful and evil enough to do bad things to his only daughter?
I force myself not to answer the question, because deep down, I already know the answer. Papa has been punishing me for something my entire life. Whether or not we have a secret, he's always disliked me. I'm a means to an end, and he intends to force me into any position he wants just so he can get the riches and position in the mafia world he's always dreamt of.
Breakfast is a lonely affair, and I'm just finishing up my oatmeal when a hard, heavy hand lands on my shoulder.
"You should be eating plain oatmeal, made with water and salt," Papa hisses at me in way of a greeting. "This is made with cream and sugar. You'll get fat."
"Hello, Papa." I hate how timid I become every time he's around. I don't want to be a meek, obedient little girl, but that's what Papa wants, and I've dedicated my entire life to him, so why defy him now? "I missed you."
He doesn't respond to my genuine sentiment, merely shoos the maid, Mia, and sits down opposite me at the dining table. He checks to make sure we're alone before turning his eyes to mine. "Did you run into any problems since you've been here, Nicoletta?"
I hate it when he uses my name. He's one of the two people – the other being me – in the world who knows how much I hate it, even now, when we're alone. But that doesn't deter Papa. He sinks the knife deeper and twists, hurting me on fucking purpose. I should hate him, but I can't. He's the only family I have left, my blood, my flesh. And I have to obey him... or else.
"No problems," I shake my head. "Everything has been going well and the wedding preparations have already begun."
"Good," he grunts. "I trust the Bernardis are taking good care of you? Not letting you have too much freedom?"
If I wanted to, I could betray Adrian now and tell Papa all about his cruelty and how much he prefers the captive girl to me. But I keep my mouth shut, forcing it into a pleasant smile. I learned a long time ago not to reveal too much to Papa, and now I keep my secrets close to my heart, where nobody can find them. I don't let anyone close enough.
"They are," I nod. "Adrian, Ryder and Bruno have all been welcoming and very kind. I have a beautiful suite upstairs."
