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Was I supposed to remain loyal to a personality that might be completely fabricated? My heart clenched at the thought that the Ryan I knew and had come to care for—and yes, even love—could simply be turned off someday. Yet I had to accept that was likely the brutal reality, especially since Turek had told me Szerain’s exile couldn’t be permanent.
I dropped to sit on the dry stone and tried to imagine what Jill would likely say, ticking points off on her fingers: “You’re fucking Rhyzkahl because A, he’s a hot and sexy stud who gives you lots and lots of orgasms, and B, because you’re deliberately putting obstacles between you and Ryan to protect yourself in the event things with him don’t work out.”
Groaning, I dropped my head into my hands. Yep, that pretty much summed it up.
And then there was Rhyzkahl. He might not have loved Elinor, but he’d certainly cared for her. And while I had no illusions that he loved me, it was clear there was some sort of affection in play. I sighed. There was no easy answer to any of this.
Cold and confused, I made my way back to the palace.
Chapter 17
I stood at the broad window in the arboretum, arms clasped loosely around myself as I watched the demons in the yard below. They were already involved in some new game. Not that I had any clue what the rules were. Two faas hunkered on one side of the courtyard, and a zhurn and reyza stood still as statues on the other. At apparently random intervals one from each side would dash to the middle and go through a series of odd sparring type moves. But it wasn’t sparring. That would be ludicrous between a faas and a reyza. After a minute, they’d break apart and go back to their side. Then later, another pair would go out and do the same thing. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. I didn’t get it, but they sure looked like they were having a good time.
I should teach them football, I thought with amusement. Football with the use of the arcane, and with a variety of creatures, some of whom had the ability to fly. Yeah, that might require a few adjustments to the rules.
I let my gaze drift to the grove. I was banned from going to it, but now I knew that didn’t mean it was completely inaccessible. Gently, I pulled a trickle of power, allowed myself to revel in the comfort of it.
I startled as arms encircled me from behind, then relaxed as I recognized the warm power of Rhyzkahl’s presence.
“You seem pensive,” he murmured. I dropped my head back against him, sighed. He brought his right hand up to lay it against the side of my face. “And you are clouded.”
“No, I actually feel fine,” I said. “Totally clear.”
“Perhaps clear to you,” he said. “Not clear to me.”
I scowled. The hand on the side of my face wasn’t affection. It was him trying to read me, and for whatever reason, he wasn’t having much success. I pulled away and turned to face him. “Don’t read my damn mind then,” I said with a falsely sweet smile. “Problem solved.”
Rhyzkahl tilted his head, gave me a disarming yet suggestive smile. “There are times when you most assuredly enjoy it.”
Well, he had me there. There was a lot to be said for having a lover who knew exactly what revved your engines. “Okay…but those are the only times!” Then I sighed. “Rhyzkahl, this place is great, but I’m so ready to go home.”
“It is what I came to tell you,” he said. “With Jesral’s assistance, the foundation has been laid for the ritual.”
“Really?” I smiled broadly. “I’m going home?”
He slid his arms around me. “Tonight, yes. It is a difficult and complex ritual to open a portal without a summoner working the pattern,” he cautioned. “But I am confident that I will be able to guide you as needed.”
I pressed close to him. “I can follow orders when necessary.”
Smiling, he lifted his other hand to stroke my hair back from my face. “We shall soon see.” He kissed me, then straightened. “And now I must go make final preparations,” he said. The smile remained on his face, yet his eyes seemed deeply veiled. “I will send for you at sunset. Bathe and don what the faas lay out for you.”
Excitement and relief twined together within me. “I’ll be ready.”
He touched my cheek then turned and departed without another word.
I watched him go. Was it at all possible that he was going to miss me? Was that why he was being so strangely tender? I shook my head to dismiss the thought. Right now all I wanted to worry about was getting my ass back home.
I returned to my room, bathed, then stood frowning at the simple, pretty pullover dress laid out on the bed. I’d been thinking jeans, a zrila-shirt, and sneakers would be ideal for going home, but for all I knew, clothes might have significance in demon-side rituals. Whatever. All that mattered right now was getting home. After dressing and combing out my hair, I had nothing left to do but wait impatiently and watch the progress of the sun toward the horizon.
Shortly after the sun began to set a faas burst through the door, baring teeth. “Come! Come! Qaztahl waits!”
“Okay, okay!” I said with a smile. The faas hopped out, and I followed it down the corridor. It stopped at the open door to this wing’s smaller library and pointed inside.
“Here here heeeeere.”
“Rhyzkahl’s waiting for me here?” I asked, brow furrowed.
The faas peered at me as though I was a silly but very lovable human. “No! Jesral waiting!”
