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“It might be at least a week before I get it back to you,” I said as I took it.
His shoulders lifted in a shrug. “It was just gonna be sitting out here anyway.”
I held the key tightly in my hand and gave him a smile. “Randy, thanks for not holding a grudge against me.”
“We had some good times.” He shrugged again.
He missed me, I realized. He didn’t know how to say it, but there it was. And I missed him too, in a weird way. Not in a let’s-get-back-together kind of way. At all. No way. But it was silly to think I could simply turn off a whole chapter of my life and stick it in a drawer to never even think of it again. For better or for worse, my time with him helped make me who I was.
And, even though I knew getting back together with him was impossible on any number of levels, I found myself missing some of the closeness we’d shared. Hell, date someone for four years and you fucking get to know them.
“Yeah, we did have some good times.” I shoved the key into my pocket, then didn’t know what to do or say.
“I guess this is it.” He shifted his weight. “You wanna take a few joints for the road?”
I hesitated. “Can’t. Sorry. My condition gets a lot worse if I do stuff like that.” It was a flat-out lie. Pot burned up less brains than cigarettes, but that wasn’t the goddamn point. Thanks to my parasite keeping my system squeaky clean, I could smoke a whole joint and not get even the teensiest hint of a high. Truth was, I didn’t want the joints around because they’d only remind me of how fucked up I used to be. Besides, what was the point of having them if they didn’t do shit?
“Damn. That sucks,” he said, making an appropriately sympathetic face.
“I’m used to it.” I knew I needed to leave, but I couldn’t let go of the sense that we had unfinished business between us. Being with him had been a seriously unhealthy rut for me. It bugged me that he couldn’t—or wouldn’t—get out of the rut as well. “Hey, I passed my GED a couple weeks ago,” I blurted. “Finally got that high school diploma.”
“Well, I’ll be damned.” A slow smile touched his mouth. “Never seemed you gave a shit about that.”
“I didn’t give a shit about anything.” I shook my head. “I didn’t see any reason to. I mean, my life was a fuckup from top to bottom.” I dragged a hand through my hair. “It’s weird but getting, um, sick was what finally made me realize I could do more with my life.”
“You sure look good,” Randy said, voice warm. “Don’t look sick at all.”
“Thanks,” I said, “but you don’t want to see me if I haven’t had the supplement in a while.” I glanced at my watch, surprised at how late it was. “Shit. I gotta go. I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” He lifted a hand to my cheek, stroked his thumb over it, then let his hand drop. “Guess I’ll see you when I see you.”
I stepped forward and gave him a light kiss. He tasted like beer and nicotine, smelled faintly of motor oil and whatever cologne he’d worn to the bar. Familiar and oddly pleasant.
He returned it just as lightly, then I turned away, got into the car, and left.
The others stepped out of the woods as I left the gravel of Randy’s driveway. I gave up the driver’s seat to Kyle then joined Naomi in the back.
“Took a long time,” Philip said as he took shotgun.
“I hadn’t seen him in almost a year,” I replied. “I couldn’t exactly say, ‘Hey, gimme a car. ’Kay, thanks, bye!’”
Naomi looked over at me, a frown line between her eyebrows. “He didn’t try anything, did he?”
“Nah, he was cool,” I said, and shrugged. “We talked a bit, that’s all.”
“You okay?” she asked, lowering her voice. “You don’t exactly look okay.”
“It was weird seeing him again,” I confessed.
She sat back. “I’ve never been in that situation.”
I shot her a look of surprise. “Really? No exes?”
“Pathetic, huh?”
“Stop that,” I ordered. “It’s not pathetic. Hell, if it makes you feel any better, Randy’s my only ex.” Except as soon as I said it I remembered it wasn’t true. Nope, you got two exes now. I hadn’t told Naomi about Marcus yet. Everything had moved so quickly there’d been zero time to slow down and talk. Pour my heart out. Whine. Now wasn’t the time either, not in a crowded car when a hell of a lot more than my love life was at stake.
“I also have half a decade on you,” she pointed out, but she had a bit of a smile now.
