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But even though she was relieved that Hamilton High exceeded her expectations, as she walked through the hallways that always smelled slightly of Pine-Oil cleaner, she realized with a pang how much she had loved Duchesne. Especially now that she could never go back. At least she would be seeing Bliss tomorrow. Schuyler decided enough was enough.
There were some people she could trust in this world and Bliss was one of them. She was keen on seeing her friend, and wondered why it had taken Bliss so long to get back to her. Maybe she was mad at her for deserting her, Schuyler hoped not, she had to make Bliss understand, they'd had no choice but to leave. Oliver said that at school Bliss was friendly but uninterested, acting as if they were mere acquaintances and nothing more.
It hurt to think of everyone back at Duchesne without her. She didn't know what the future held, but she had a feeling it would not bring SAT prep classes and early admissions letters. She was here to follow her grandfather's advice: to learn how to move in human society without giving away her vampire ancestry.
One thing Hamilton lacked was a proper library. Oh, it had a tiny library, a room the size of a closet displaying old S. E. Hinton paperbacks, with a bank of computer terminals where everyone checked their e-mails. Studying at home had always made Schuyler feel itchy, and one of the things she loved about her new neighborhood was that she wasn't too far from the New York Public Library.
She liked the reading room on the second floor, where the writers worked, the ones with the library fellowships. It was always quiet there. She was walking up the grand staircase one afternoon after a long day of classes when who should be walking down but Jack Force.
He didn't look too surprised to see her back in New York.
"I'm glad to see you took my advice finally," he said by way of greeting. He did not smile. "Welcome back."
"Thanks. It's good to be back," she said, trying to appear as nonchalant as he was. Jack had let his hair grow out a little since they had seen each other last, now that he wasn't a Venator anymore. It curled behind his ears and over his shirt collar.
"What are you doing here anyway?"
Duchesne had a wonderful library, on the top floor, with a view of Central Park. And whatever could not be found in the Duchesne library could be found in the vampire Repository.
Trinity's on the board for the Library Lions," Jack said. "since she's been in D.C., she asked me if I could fill in during the meeting."
Schuyler nodded. She had come back to New York, but had come back too late. When she'd spied the invitation the other evening, her heart had not thumped wildly in her chest, her mouth had not turned dry, her eyes had not threatened to water. She had almost expected it, somehow. She was resigned to the news by now.
"About the Conclave," she started. "Are they... "?
"Don't worry about them. You are safe for now. Oliver did a fine job with his story of your estrangement. Thankfully there's no one on the Conclave who knows the two of you well. Because if they did they would realize there's absolutely no truth to it," he said. "He is a good friend to you."
She knew it took an effort for him to say it, and she thought she would return the gesture. "So... I hear... congratulations are in order. You and Mimi."
"Ah. Yes." He appeared pleased.
Schuyler understood they would not talk about what had happened between them in Paris. The kiss. It was as if Jack were standing behind a block of ice. He was unreachable. His face set in stone. Already he was shutting her out. He had tried so hard so many times, and she had always rejected him. On Perry Street. In Paris. He would not give her another chance, she knew.
She had come too late. She had followed her heart and had come too late, as usual. In two weeks he would be lost to her forever. He would be bonded to Mimi, but at least he would be safe. It's all she ever wanted for him.
"I'm happy for you," she said brightly. "Really. I mean... I know what it's like to be alone in the world, and I wouldn't want that for you."
"Thank you," he said. "I wish you the same."
Jack lingered on the stairway. It looked as if he were going to say something else, but thought better of it. With a wave of his hand, he was gone.
Schuyler forgot what she had come to the library to find.
She blinked back tears and felt her throat constrict. Soon her whole body was shaking as badly as it ever had, but this was no transformation-related sickness. She was wrong. She was not strong. Her heart was breaking, she could feel it, nothing would ever be the same. Her eyes watered, and she knew if she did not stop herself, she would soon be sobbing on the staircase.
So this was how a love affair ends: with a random meeting on a public staircase. A few polite words and nothing real said, even though their world was ending. And so, with the most self-control she had ever managed, she dried her tears, picked up her books, and continued up the stairs.
She would just have to endure.
ER 45
Bliss
"Where r u? miss u. am back & want 2 c u. sky"
Bliss read her text. Her thumb hovered over the reply button, but in the end she put her phone away. No. She wasn't safe to be around. She didn't want any more of her friends to suffer because of her.
"Sorry," she said, when she noticed Miss Murray looking in her direction.
