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‘Of course I approve.’
‘Thank you, Mrs Ransleigh,’ Diana said, touched by her kindness. ‘It’s been a long time since I lived with my father and felt like part of a family. It’s something I very much wanted James to experience. I’ll be forever grateful for your friendship.’
‘As I esteem yours! But now, I must go check on dinner. I’m so glad you’re safely home, Alastair. Will I see you both at table?
‘Very good,’ she said as they both nodded. ‘I’ll leave you to your chat. No naughtiness, now!’ she added with a smile, waving a finger at them.
At the memory of the torrid kiss they’d shared, Diana blushed—and noted that Alastair’s face reddened, too. ‘I made you a promise, Mama, and I won’t break it...no matter how tempting it might be.’
‘You’d better figure out how you’ll deal with it later,’ came the enigmatic reply as with a wave of her fingers, Mrs Ransleigh glided out through the door.
Alastair looked back at her. ‘I’d better go change out of my dirt. Mama isn’t as much a stickler as my uncle, but she’d still not appreciate me leaving mud on her dining-room carpet.’
He bent to kiss her fingers, sending another sizzle of sensation through her. ‘Mama’s right. We will have to figure out what to do about this later, you know.’
Both delight and dread made her stomach churn. ‘I know.’
‘I won’t tease you now, though. I’ll see you at dinner.’
Diana watched him go. Their physical bond was, without question, as strong as ever. Would that be enough? And how long would it last?
She was trying hard not to depend on support which, once she was safe again, could well be withdrawn. She was trying not to hunger for the company of a man who, after having a husband who did everything possible to control, coerce, and deprive her, made it his task to indulge her, expand her horizons, and give her the freedom to choose her own destiny.
With complete freedom, what would that be?
She simply didn’t know. She was, as she’d assured Alastair, just beginning to allow herself to experience happiness, while a love for her son, natural and unforced, seemed to increase with each interlude they spent together.
But she was still a long way from recovering from years of repressing all feeling, nor had she exorcised the demons left from her late husband’s abuse. She’d shown she could be a mistress. She was not at all sure she could be more.
Well, she’d not tease herself either. For now, she must wait with what patience she could muster for resolution of the challenge from Graveston. Only then would she figure out what came next.
Chapter Nineteen
Two weeks later, the early morning sun a smouldering suggestion on the eastern horizon, Alastair was grabbing an early breakfast when Diana walked in.
Seeing him, she halted, her face lighting with a smile that made his heart swell in his chest.
‘I thought you’d be gone by now. Your mother said last night you were meeting Hutchens today to visit some of the outlying farms.’
‘Yes, and to arrange some assistance for one of the tenants. With crops about ready for harvest, the poor fellow fell off his barn roof and broke a leg. Hutchens has already talked with some of neighbours; today we’ll arrange a schedule so they can work together to get all the fields harvested.’
‘Will you be away the whole day?’ she asked as she poured herself some coffee.
Alastair hoped he wasn’t imagining the wistfulness in her tone. ‘Much of it. What do you have planned?’
‘The bouquets in the rooms need refreshing. I’ll scour the cutting garden, then take James for a long tromp through the fields and see what plants we can find to augment them.’
Alastair smiled, remembering all the exploring through the woods and fields he’d done with his cousins. ‘I’m sure he’ll enjoy that. Barton Abbey is a wonderful place for an adventuresome boy.’
She nodded. ‘Especially when he can bring his new puppy. I enjoy the walks, too. When we come across some interesting specimen, it recalls to me the particular plant-hunting expedition during which Papa first showed it to me. How he taught me to appreciate the lines and shapes of nature, as well as her colours. It’s like getting a small part of myself back.’
‘You’ll bring your sketchbook?’
‘Yes. James reminds me of Papa, too. It’s not just a mother’s prejudiced eye—he has a real knack for drawing. He seems to enjoy spending the time with me, sketching.’ She sighed. ‘He’s missed out on so many simple things. Thanks to you, I’m beginning to make it up to him.’
‘No, it’s thanks to you, for thinking of them,’ he corrected. ‘You are a good mother, Diana.’
‘I’m trying to be.’ As her gaze traced his face, lingering on his lips, he felt heat rise within him.
She must have felt it, too, for she gave a little sigh. ‘I am trying hard to be good—in many ways.’
His thoughts flew immediately to intimacy, and he had to suppress a groan. ‘As are we both.’ Then he grinned. ‘I’d love to be “good” to you in a most different way, but that will be for later.’
‘Oh, I hope so! Anticipation makes the heart grow fonder?’
‘And other things,’ he muttered. He rose and walked to her chair, fighting the urge to kiss her. She placed her hand on top of his, tracing the edge of his palm with her fingertip, setting his senses simmering, sparking his barely banked desire into flame.
‘Witch,’ he murmured when he could speak again.
‘Wizard,’ she replied, a little hitch in her voice. ‘Sometimes doing the honourable thing is beastly difficult.’
‘It won’t be for much longer, sweeting. Once you are protected, settled with what is due you and James, we can move forward—to whatever you want.’
To his surprise, rather than looking relieved, her face clouded. ‘I hope everything will transpire as you envisage it.’
‘I’ll never let you be hurt. You believe that, don’t you, Diana?’ He tilted her face up to gaze at him. ‘I know with James in danger, you can’t help worrying. But...try to be easy, won’t you?’
She sighed. ‘I will try. And I do trust you.’
He ought to go...but the desire to spend time with her while he could—and ease her apprehension—made him linger. ‘I don’t need to meet with Hutchens until later. How about I join you and James on your walk?’
‘Do you have the time? I don’t wish to pull you from your work.’
‘I can spare an hour. And I know a few places an adventurous boy would enjoy visiting.’
To his delight, she chuckled, smoothing the worried creases from her brow. ‘I’m sure you do! James would love to have you join us. He told me you’ve stopped by the nursery and played soldiers with him several times, which has quite won him over. I can’t thank you enough for your kindness.’
‘I enjoy spending time with him. He reminds me of Robbie.’
‘Let me fetch him, then.’
‘Finish your breakfast and we’ll go up together.’
* * *
And so, after she’d nibbled her toast and sipped her coffee, they left the breakfast room and headed towards the nursery. As they climbed the stairs, Alastair felt an odd sense of déjà vu.
So it should have been, he and Diana going up together to fetch their son.
Too late for that, he thought, hauling back on the reins of his fantasy. And too soon yet, he reminded himself, to picture anything for the future.
As Diana had predicted, James was delighted to add him to their excursion. ‘Are we going to explore the gatehouse, like you promised?’ James asked after they’d descended the stairs and exited the house.
‘We’ll save that for a rainy day,’ he replied, hoping they would be at Barton Abbey long enough for him to make good on his pledge. ‘It’s so lovely this morning, I thought we’d go to another special place.’
‘Are we going to the woods?’ James asked, skipping along beside him. ‘Mama took me to the wheat field, but she wouldn’t let me go all the way to the trees.’
‘The woods are closer if you go this way, through the kitchen gardens,’ he told them as he opened a gate into the walled enclosure.
‘Mama and I walked here already,’ James informed him. ‘We picked the plants with smelly leaves.’
‘The ones with fragrant leaves,’ Diana corrected. ‘Lavender, mint and rosemary, to add some scent to the bouquets,’ she explained to Alastair.
Within a few moments, they’d traversed the neat arrangement of symmetrical beds filled with herbs and vegetables and reached the gate at the other side. Opening it, Alastair pointed to a path that set off into the woods beyond a border of shrubs. ‘We’re going that way.’
